I can handle illness for a day or 2...even a few extra minutes of madness I can handle.

I think I made a mistake somewhere and went beyond weeks into months.

I cannot remember the last time I had my **** together?

turns out I don't believe I ever did...

so now it's into years...and suddenly my whole life is a mistake.

I'm not ashamed of being different..I'm ashamed cos I don't feel comfortable with it

the only way I know how to feel comfortable with it is to not experience it at all.

so?

what keeps me going?

just outright defiance!

I don't belong in this emotionally corrupted world I don't have a freaking chance looking watching standing sitting I can't stand the sight of all the "apparent" coping skills of the world around me!

I am not from around here

and it's so painfull to die

so defiance it is

thats all I got

for me....

anxiety - panic - anger - depression - DEFIANCE - rationalization and self talk - new perspective - less depression and anxiety - back to where I started from

If i was where you are now, I would still have a lot of work to do to feel better. this seems to be my pattern. we all have them. growing up though, I never had a complete pattern. I had broken patterns, in my thoughts and actions. maybe there are still steps to take?