[~Christina]

This is just me having a pity party.

I have been having a really rough time finding a reason or a purpose. My Daughter is grown so it's not like I am raising a child. I can't work, that use to be a huge part of my self worth and helping others. I don't have a hobby, I am just not good at anything "artsy" I do read enormous amounts of books , mainly to distract me from my life. I know all the standard ideas, volunteer,join a book club, spend time with friends, go to parks, exercise, find some kind of hobby etc etc.

Here's the reality I live in a very very very small town, most all the ideas do not exist here and driving 50 miles to a bit bigger of a town is impossible. I have 1 real friend here.. apparently her disabled husband thinks I am " too outspoken" and he prefers she doesn't spend time with me, so, yeah nice hu?
I use to work out 6 days a week for 3-4 hours a day while working 12 hour shifts, Have many people I thought were friends only to find out once I got sick "I" wasn't a person they wanted to be friends with ,now even simple Yoga is impossible .. Thanks to Fibro these are no longer an option. I don't think I have actually recovered from my trip to Florida, maybe I wont.

I'm just so pissed off and sad and mad about my situation it's not even funny.

Thanks for letting me rant.

[roads]

Do you mean former friends don't want to work out and do yoga with you now, since fibro came along? Rant away.

[~Christina]

Former friends want nothing to do with me, in general.

[Confusedinomicon]

If you like writing you could look into role-playing forums.

They won't give you a life-purpose, but it's a hobby none-the-less.

If there is a mental health center you could also volunteer (or be paid) to help encourage others who are struggling. Either that or a hospital. I think you have the potential to be a motivational speaker of some sort.

[Bipolar mom]

I'm sorry you are feeling sad Christina. I don't live in a small town, living right outside of nyc youd think i have lots of options for friends and to have fun.. but I only have one friend as well. It sucks how judgmental people can be. We are your friends here at pc. I know it's not the same thing, but we are here so rant away!

My sister has fibro and chronic fatigue, and she's only 18. It breaks my heart to see her home almost every Friday and Saturday. None of her friends will hang out with her, they would rather party and all that.

[Clinte89]

You could defiantly be a motivational speaker! That's a brilliant idea. Or get a pet those are always fun and can become some of the best friends you'll ever have. Yep so I prescribe one dog to you, and don't over do dog it can become highly addictive! Lol

[manicminer]

I just picked up a new one that you might be interested in: Reloading Firearm Cartridges.

Very time consuming, requires total mental focus, not physically strenuous, can do at home (my bench is s step away from my bed. lol), requires no other people, satisfying...

[manicminer]

Ordered all the stuff online. was shipped right to the house. come home at midnight and can't sleep, I reload bullets. Need a pick me up to get me going in the morning, I reload bullets. Wanna go out and shoot, I reload bullets. Can't get my mind to work right, I reload bullets.

[Clinte89]

Haha miner thats another great idea. I bet that does take quite sometime to get down.

[manicminer]

Gotta follow the manuals and use precise measurements. Grains of powder (measure of weight) I have all my casings the same length down to the thousandth of an inch (3.236" for 30.06). Like I said total mental focus.

i know how hard it is to get out of the house, and I live with my wife who also has fibro....

have you ever heard of the spoon theory??? it's actually a way to describe fibro to others using spoons. it came from a conversation between a lady and her husband at a restraunt, she blogged about it and it became viral.

she was trying to explain to her husband what each day was like for her having fibromyalgia... she picked up six spoons. (Why there were six spoons idk.. but good story lol).
She started listing the things she had to do that day. she explained that the spoons were like how much she had in her for that day, that sometimes she only had four spoons and other times she had more. but that she had to find a way to get everything done with the amount of spoons that she had. she started listing off things that she has to get done, and for everything she removed a spoon until they were all gone. she then went on to say everything else she still had to do but had no more spoons.

they talked about how she had to prioritize and how she just couldn't do everything in a day that needed to be done.

going to the park. one spoon.
attempting yoga. two spoons.

and so on.... now, people are calling themselves spooners lol.

thought you might appreciate this.

[~Christina]

Confused.. Motivational speaker I don't think I could ever do that, I am more the blend into the crowd and not be seen. Thank you, a lot. There is a hospital here 20 beds and the retired people here handle it. They don't want anyone younger. The only mental health facility is where I go, lol so that isn't an option. I will look into the forums, thank you I hadn't thought of anything like that.

[~Christina]

Thanks Bipolar Mom.. I am glad you have a good friend I am sorry that your sister has to deal with Fibro it's a hellish illness.

[~Christina]

Clinte ..lol @ motivational speaker.. Thank you , but I could never. I do in fact have a Dog I rescued him from the pound 3 years ago. he knows when my pain goes flying up, he will lay right next to me, well he has been right next to me since my trip to Florida.
He was my only friend for a year besides my daughter and she was off at college. My husband hated me, his son hated me and the son's girlfriend hated me... Apparently everyone thought I was faking my pain, that went on for over a year. At least I had "Sirius"

I don't think I could have made it through all that if I didn't have him.

[~Christina]

Manicminer ! Yes it is a lot of work. That's what my husband does, that is his escape. I would love to do it also, but thats was is keeping him sane right now.

Great Idea!!! and if you could go out and buy ammo like before I would be out doing target practice.

[~Christina]

Dan , Yes the spoon theory. It is an easier way for people to understand what Fibro is like. I feel like I have been spoonless since my trip to Florida, I haven't been able to get my pain lower than an 8... I can live with a 7, I just can't handle the 8's 9s, and a 10 well I wont say where my mind goes.

I am really sorry your wife has to suffer with this.

Thanks for reminding me about the spoons

(((((christina))))

i kind of have some of the same issues..- no friends, no hobbies, can't work, life for us can really suck sometimes

...oops just crashed into the door frame like it's a limit in my house in my world!

this new bump on my head carefully arranged by my unlimited miserable fate....was outstanding in it's arrival cos for ages I didn't ever bump into my world like I floated by unimpressed even by the personal expenditure of everyone else trying so damn hard to make an impression.

...and in my attempt to be in somewhat comparison I collided with the simplest of things ...

and what a freaking headache!

I'm never gonna make it...never gonna be able to make the most of this my head is ready to explode!

how can I possibly consider the littlest things?

and I must I intend to I....

think I understand your emptiness Christina...

[~Christina]

OK saw my T and he helped me with a huge attitude adjustment, one that was very needed. Sorry for my rambling pity party

[bluemountains]

Christina
I am just seeing your thread, and while I am coming on after you were able to get help from your T, I still want to send out lots of hugs. You are always so positive, that I think you are allowed an occasional pity party. I don't think I could handle the pain you experience with such grace.
Complain away whenever you need to we are here to listen and care-hopefully that helps a little bit.
Bluemountains

[~Christina]

Oh Blue

Thank you so much! Grace? Ha.. I was real graceful telling off my living room chair yesterday Y.eah I need to realize I'm going to have a meltdown here and there

But thank you very much
Now on to important stuff .. How are YOU feeling? Did you get any tests done or are you in the " hurry up and wait line"?

[bos314489]

I just want to say I agree with bluemountains, you are always giving a lot of good advice and support to people even when you do not feel well. I cannot imagine being in physical pain on top of mental pain. You can have a pity party anytime you want. I hope you feel better now.

[~Christina]

Aww thank you Bos

Yes I do feel better.

[Moose72]

You're such a wonderful friend to me. I'm surprised nobody wants to be your friend irl. That's unthinkable!

[~Christina]

Thanks Moose the feeling is mutual

I had loads of "friends" through work ... wasn't able to continue work and "friends" vanished. Sad but true.