[Melmo]

I let people walk all over me constantly. I rarely stand up for myself and this morning is a perfect example. I called in sick this mornig (which I haven't done in the 4 months I've been there) and it took a lot to even do that. I was shaking while talking to my boss. She guilt tripped me because I was leaving them short. She called me 10 mins later asking me to come in just until she can get someone else. I said yes. I hung up the phone and cried in frustration. Why can't I just say NO!

[Darth Bane]

i used to have that problem, i think 8 years ago.... i remember i got so mad at myself,i decided never to respect/care what others think anymore... if they can be selfish i can be too... worked for me... might work for you too...

[LB_mitralvalve]

Originally Posted by JustWantToBeNormal

I let people walk all over me constantly. I rarely stand up for myself and this morning is a perfect example. I called in sick this mornig (which I haven't done in the 4 months I've been there) and it took a lot to even do that. I was shaking while talking to my boss. She guilt tripped me because I was leaving them short. She called me 10 mins later asking me to come in just until she can get someone else. I said yes. I hung up the phone and cried in frustration. Why can't I just say NO!

I ussually don't have trpuble saying no.. unless it's a freind in real need. then I do.. even if it interferes with my schedule I cannot say NO to freinds.

[Secretum]

I do the same thing; I'm so scared to disappoint or inconvenience anyone. I even say "yes" before the other person asks the question sometimes!

I don't trust others... it's hard to trust for me so I have a natural inclination to run away from confrontation and situations. it's taken a lot of practice not to bail and still I suck at it lol. not much help to you though. sorry.

[Bipolar mom]

I am the same way... I've been trying harder to stand up for myself, my anxiety effects it though.

[Melmo]

Originally Posted by Bipolar mom

I am the same way... I've been trying harder to stand up for myself, my anxiety effects it though.

That's how I feel, also not wanting to dissapoint and being seen as unreliable.

[faerie_moon_x]

Yeah, I have a lot of trouble standing up for myself. I guess in all the years I was bullied I learned the "if you just go along with them, they will leave you alone" type of thing... I hate arguing and confrontation. I have panic attacks pretty easily if I feel confrontation coming. I get physically sick (which sucks) as well.

But, you know, if you are sick at work make sure you make your boss understand why you called in by standing a bit close to her when you sneeze or cough. Karma....

[avlady]

I also am not a person that can say no to alot of things.I had to make a decision if i was going to watch 2 of the neighbors kids without pay, when the mom, who i hardly knew, asked me to, i said no but felt bad about it, when i really realized, i was in no position because of my meds and mental problems, that i didn't have to do it without the guilt it left in me as she turned out to be a heroin addict, and alcholic. i felt so bad because i could not help her, but i told myself it wasn't my responsibility, but i still felt bad for years until i came across this post and was able to put it in words.

[BlueInanna]

I'm much better at it now than I was years ago. I still have the problem with people being pushy with me and trying to talk me into things, and I end up saying I'll think about it. And then I might just flake on them.

Seems to me that when employees are calling in sick, they leave a message very early before the work day starts, then probably wouldn't answer their phone if I called them. Sometimes I might text them if I have an important question about something, but I'd be apologizing for bothering them while they're ill. Luckily no one's chronically absent, but people get sick and have to miss sometimes.

If it happens again where you're ill and have to stay home, think of it as you are notifying your boss, not asking for permission (not to say that, just approach it that way). And the best response to the guilt trip is probably, "I'm so sorry, but I need to stay near the bathroom today." How is she to argue with that?

Feel better

[emgreen]

I have a horrible time telling people no. I know it's just a matter of recognizing & sticking to clear boundaries, but I have a very difficult time doing so. I've discussed this often with my T.