Loss of a friendship

I saw this coming, knew it would happen and tonight it did.

My one real life friend that I use to work with. Her and I would do lunch or dinner every couple weeks. Her husband is disabled on O2 24/7 hes just a plain mess medically. Anyway, the last 4-5 months he has insisted on coming out with us .. Hes a Mr know it all. He does NOT like me. He thinks I am a bad influance apparently ... So we went out to dinner tonight..

He just kept poking at me every chance he got. Remarked my Dragonfly tattoo is trashy, the Dragonfly necklace was cheap looking ( yes he is aware of the reasons why Dragonfly's are of importance to me) Blahblahblah I flat ignored 98% of his crap...

Then he pointed his finger at me and said " you don't know anything" and called me a B1tch.... I said You are right I am one ! picked up my check paid for it and walked out.

My friend Mary his wife .. had no idea what to do or say .. she started to come after me and I just told her ... no, I have nothing to say.

Oh well

Wow. I wonder if he abuses his wife like that too. He sounds like my gf's dad, also on oxygen, she said she hated talking to him. But then he went on Prozac for a while and things got better. You might want to suggest that to Mary if she calls you, that h is depressed. But I am so sorry you went thru that tonight. It must have felt surreal. I hope you're okay.

Thanks ...

This is a tiny tiny town in the bible belt of Tennessee .. Women around here seem to think the husband has the say so about everything.. I have asked Mary before why she jumps everytime he snaps his fingers.. she said "hes my husband" I said .. ya know this isn't the stone age anymore? She said it's what she knows.. ( we have had the conversation many many times over the past 5 years)

I don't see anything changing on her side.. and I won't deal with his ignorance anymore.

Life sure is funny

I'm really really sorry Christina

And that is exactly why he thinks you are a bad influence, I mean his wife might start to get ideas ..like she can pick her own friends since she is not 5 anymore. And I bet he is scared and that is why he decided he needs to chaperone her play dates with you.

You did not deserve that and I am sorry that you seem to have a lost a friend. Hopefully she will wise up and take power back over her life. I am sure glad you are not in that thinking tho even tho surrounded with it. Thank goodness.

I am not sure what I would do in that situation but you hardly need to put up with his crap, glad you stood up for yourself and walked out.

You nailed it Anika... I don't think Mary is going to change

It's just a really sad/stupid situation.

So sorry, Christina. Folks in that area are generally taught that the man is the head of the household--regardless. It does sound like he was concerned about your influence and perhaps even jealous.

I hope you'll find a woman who is more like you before too long.......

Oh, Christina, I know you said awhile back you saw this day coming ... still, I'm so sorry. True friendships in real life are so few. I can't imagine how anything could work out, and yet--I hope ...
roadie

I don't consider him to be the "man of the household". I think of him as more of a
cave man dragging his club behind him when he returns to the cave.

I feel sorry for Mary. She seems to be a nice person. How in the world could she
have fallen in love with someone like that?

Christina, I'd look for other friends whose husbands have an education and know
how to be a loving, caring person.

Really good wishes to you and your efforts. Mary is going to miss you, I feel sure.

Take care.

Christina, I'm sorry. I hope she comes to her senses and you find a better friend. What color are the dragonflies. Careful okay?

I'm so sorry . I know you've spoken of her before and did expect this b.s., but it's still terrible. Hopefully this may be one door closes and another one opens. There has to be a new irl friend in your area who's looking for you too. Also Mary may come around, as someone else said I hope she isn't being abused. . She sounds sweet and may be safer for her to not anger him lest she get beat or yelled at. Sucks for both of you ladies

Roadie, Yep I remember the discussion you and I had about this right back to ya !!!

Genetic It's a small town and most couples 40+ years old behave in this matter.. It's mindboggling to me. Mary won't change, she is going to have a rough time with this.. I am her only friend besides her family.

MM , My Tattoo is purple with lite purple highlights and the necklace is a muted multicolor bead and heavy weight dragonfly in silver. LOL Yes I am a rebel here apparently .. There is a post somewhere here on PC with a pic of my tatttoo.

Due to not being able to work and as I said this is a tiny tiny town no place to go volunteer, no library, It is almost impossible to meet people , so finding friends is not impossible but damn near. I'm not happy about this loss... but I could no longer allow that situation to effect me.

I am thankful daily for everyone of you ... we may be separated by miles,states, oceans or countries ...... But you're my friends ... I'm grateful, I'm very lucky.

Thanks Blue,

I would not say he is abusive to her, It's this weird mentality here that the husbands are the rulers and women need to just do as they are told...??? I can't wrap my warped mind around it no way no how.

Yeah I am going to throw out good vibes maybe there is a person I'm suppost to meet and it will lead to a great friendship

Did I miss something here? Why does your friendship have to end with the woman because her husband is an ***? I have friends my husband rarely sees and doesn't like and friends who have partners that I don't like, don't like me or I've never even met for more than a quick introduction.

Can't you simply get together with her without her husband coming along?

Coco , yeah seems like a logical thing to do . It's a shame that Mary allows her husband to be the Boss, King, Ruler of all things.

Today I'm just sad, yet also mad. Whatever. The whole situation is down right stupid!

Oh wow. I'm sorry that happened. maybe things will cool off. Lets hope.

Btw you are a wonderf friend so Di not worry about that!