[Just a girl..]

I feel like being at home is a bad place for me to be. Everytime I'm here, everyone and everything just annoys me. I was out for awhile and everything was fine I was having fun and everything was good. Then I got home and everything just went downhill. I don't know why this keeps happening.

[manicminer]

Had the same problem when I still lived with my parents, even when it was just for the summer during college. Ended up spending my junior year summer up at school and then graduated and never moved back home.

I can take it for about a weekend and that's it. I even didnt bother to make my weekly phone call this week because it seems like my mother especially is tired of listening to me ramble when I call.

Which is frustrating because I'm the only one of the 3 boys to bother to call on a weekly basis like Mom asks.

Oh well... I know they still love me and thats all that matters

As far as advice, I have none. I was never able to figure out why. Had something to do with the way my mom always worries and thinks little problems are major disasters

[Nessa213]

I was the same way too... and same as manicminer it was much worse when I lived with my parents. When I was in high school I would find excuses to not come home until literally it was time to go to bed just so that I wouldn't have to see anyone. I "moved out" when I went to college and it got substantially better, but I'd still have to live there during the summers.

My first full year away was my 5th year right before I graduated. Occasionally if my husband and I are going through some stuff will I want to not be at home.

I always found that writing or drawing was very helpful to cope when I lived with my parents and even sometimes still. As annoying as it no doubt was for my parents when I would isolate myself, I thought THAT was a far better alternative than to snap at everyone and continually rage at people. Writing especially is something I can do that doesn't require me to physically go anywhere, but it allows me to sort of mentally escape for a while.

[Just a girl..]

My problem with that, is that I'm cyber schooled , so I'm home all the time... I mean I go places, but when I come home, it's just as bad..

[Nessa213]

I can see where that would make everything more tricky. Do you know what triggers these feelings? When I lived with my parents it was because they were hoarders of epic proportions. So isolating myself in my room sometimes and trying to keep the area I could control as nice and neat as possible really helped me cope.

[Just a girl..]

I think it's because it makes my life a reality. When I'm home I feel like I need to get stuff done. I need to be doing something productive. , but in reality I never do. I get so overwhelmed that I do nothing ,, and just sit there and be depressed about it. When I try to do something productive, nothing goes right, so it makes me not even wanna try.
Another thing is that it's SO LOUD here. The dogs are always barking , my brothers are constantly making noise. There is never just OUR family here, there's always friends and other people here. The TVs are always loud to hear over top of the dogs. It's like I can barely hear myself think. ,, it just seems like everything and anything and Everyone just makes me go crazy when I'm home. I'm irritated , im grouchy , im depressed, im sad, im mad, im *****y, etc. I don't know how to just calm down and get down to business. I only have a year and a half left, why is everything so hard now? :/

[AeonDM]

You are growing up, developing your own identity. Adult life is much toucher than "noises". You can use this time to learn copying skills. You will thank yourself later. As for your depression, see if you can adapt to your situation, or it is something besides?

[Nessa213]

I get so overwhelmed that I do nothing ,, and just sit there and be depressed about it. When I try to do something productive, nothing goes right, so it makes me not even wanna try.

I'd imagine that just about everyone here can completely relate to this statement. It's kind of like being paralyzed by indecision, I get the same thing. I'm not sure how it's like on your side, but for me when I get that way there's really not much I can do but power through it and wait for it to pass.

How many people do you share your room with? I think it'd be important to find some area you can go in your house that no one else could go. Find some good music and some headphones and just hang out somewhere by yourself for a while.

It might help for you to start to relate your house to a "sanctuary" if you could just find a small portion of it that is only yours. Unfortunately, I can see where the barking dogs is probably not something you could easily get away from.

I'd imagine what you're experiencing is perfectly normal. It's a bad age for everyone, and it's only just gotten so hard now because you're getting closer to moving out and you can see the end. Unfortunately, the stresses DO get worse as you get out on your own, but that doesn't make what you're going through any less difficult.