[Nessa213]

It's days like today that make me feel even more crazy.

I don't feel down. I don't feel particularly up either. I feel... level. Even. Average. I'm motivated to be productive at work. I don't feel put down by anyone, I don't hear any voices, I don't feel paranoid. None of it.

I feel... normal. And it feels almost foreign. I almost... almost... don't like it all that much. On these days, my logic has tricky ways of convincing me that I made those others days up. Those feelings, those perceptions weren't real. I could have overcome it if I tried hard enough. And I simply wasn't trying hard enough.

Today's a "normal" day, and I really don't like it.

[Darth Bane]

are you addicted to the highs of bipolar ??? i love those... and sometimes these lows are also good.... they taught me who are the real friend of me.... taught me a lot... when compared normal is very very boring!!!!!!!!!!

[Nessa213]

That is a very good point I didn't really think about it that way! Also, when I'm manic, I know myself... when I'm depressed, I know myself. This... whatever this is... happens literally about once every few months. Boring to be sure, but this almost lack of feeling, lack of thinking, lack of extreme emotion... just feels... weird.