[cocoabeans]

I had my hands on some little blue pills. Marked with a Z, one to make me tired and another to make me honest. Ladder the effect. Taken an hour apart.

Let's see what interests me. Something to read when I've already forgot.

Z label in z head now. Absorbency.

And she's fishing? In her Sunday dress. Push her in the mud. Pretend it really happened. It wasn't something I saw on tv.

The girl being pushed out the window was real. My laughter was too. Oops didn't mean to do that. Was one of those first signs. Inappropriate emotional reactions, yup label me ****ed and I can skip the next church retreat. Scientologists don't want me either. What's up with religions rejecting the crazy?

Remember the day I spent screaming and throwing things around the house? There was music! You all told me it was silent. I insisted. Maybe broke some things, hurt my throat screaming, ran to my room frustrated and slit my skin. That damn music was still playing but, nobody believed me.

My heater sounds like fires of hell building up in the walls and yet it is cold in here. Am I going back to hell?

Oh those blur pills, blurred blue z's on em, for sleepy time. I don't care if I wake up tomorrow and the demons are laughing at me. No, I don't care at all now.

[nicole84]

Holy shiz what did I just read?!

More to the point wtf was in those pills? Eeek..

[faerie_moon_x]

Hang in there cocoabeans.

(((((hugs))))))

[cocoabeans]

Haha? You read what goes through my brain on a normal basis and just like that too disjointed and makes no sense unless I focus but, most thoughts don't need focus and can pass by like the shapes in the clouds.

The pills have zopiclobe in them brand named Immovane. Great pills for sleep and relaxing a bit before hand.

Hands, heh the human body is so weird. Ever watch someone walk the balance of movement is bloody. Picture them making those actions on a sidewalk that is moving. We're standing still in our movements sometimes. The scenery changes behind and around me. That's all and like I'm at the edge of a dock, boats moving by and looks like I'm moving. I wave. The world waves around me. My arm is in the air. That's all.

Thoughts are bloody worthless.

[faerie_moon_x]

I know what you mean. My thoughts are like that, too. My conversations become like that too. I always know I've made a big jump in conversation because the person I'm talking to starts giving me this weird "wth?" face. Only certain people, (like my husband,) will say "where did that come from?"

This is why writing my story is hard for me right now. I think of myself as standing in a tornado and my ideas are the debris being thrown around me at high speed....

[nicole84]

Originally Posted by cocoabeans

Haha? You read what goes through my brain on a normal basis and just like that too disjointed and makes no sense unless I focus but, most thoughts don't need focus and can pass by like the shapes in the clouds.

The pills have zopiclobe in them brand named Immovane. Great pills for sleep and relaxing a bit before hand.

Hands, heh the human body is so weird. Ever watch someone walk the balance of movement is bloody. Picture them making those actions on a sidewalk that is moving. We're standing still in our movements sometimes. The scenery changes behind and around me. That's all and like I'm at the edge of a dock, boats moving by and looks like I'm moving. I wave. The world waves around me. My arm is in the air. That's all.

Thoughts are bloody worthless.

Ahh that one. It's got hypnotic properties from what I've seen. Those kind usually send me into some crazy dreams and thoughts.

Thoughts are worthless most of the time. Although I do wish mine could be as structured as some of yours, instead of a hundred all pushing together trying to form something.