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  #1  
Old Mar 30, 2012, 07:39 PM
hamster-bamster hamster-bamster is offline
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My daughters have no contact with me, but even so, if they learn that their mother has committed suicide, they would be very upset. That is reason enough to live. Right?
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  #2  
Old Mar 30, 2012, 07:46 PM
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Right. More than enough reason. By you comitting such a final act, you don't give them a chance to decide to mend the relationship, you'll be choosing FOR them, and robbing them of a possible future reconcilement...
  #3  
Old Mar 30, 2012, 08:01 PM
hamster-bamster hamster-bamster is offline
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They are young still. They will turn 12 and 14 in April, and I will not be present at their birthday celebrations. Their dad does not want me in their lives, because of the havoc I wreaked on everyone. But when they grow up, they might as well decide to have contact with me - right?
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  #4  
Old Mar 30, 2012, 08:03 PM
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You're right. When they're old enough to make their own decisions they might want to change things, they might want to get to know you, and they can't do that if you're not around...
  #5  
Old Mar 30, 2012, 08:07 PM
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They probably will. My son's father stopped seeing my son when he was 3 due to being ashamed of his drug addiction.I didn't discourage him from doing that because I didn't want my son around the drugs. When my son was 14 his father commited suicide. It broke my son's heart. He said he always though that when he grew up he would go find his dad and have a relationship with him. So in mt opinion your daughters are a great reason to live. And I'm sure if you try you can find alot of other reasons as well.
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  #6  
Old Mar 30, 2012, 08:09 PM
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Agreed. My father was estranged and took his life. I do feel robbed of a chance for us to start over. Your children very well could reach out to you, or you to them when the time is right. But not if you are not around.
My father being estranged and taking his life did not make it easier than if we had a real relationship. I'm sure in some ways that would be worse, buy in some ways this is worse.
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  #7  
Old Mar 30, 2012, 08:12 PM
hamster-bamster hamster-bamster is offline
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Thank you, this is hugely helpful.
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  #8  
Old Mar 30, 2012, 08:14 PM
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  #9  
Old Mar 30, 2012, 09:38 PM
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Wrong. They would be both furious and heartbroken, and possibily guilty that they did not keep contact with you.
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  #10  
Old Mar 30, 2012, 10:06 PM
bipolarmedstudent bipolarmedstudent is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hamster-bamster View Post
My daughters have no contact with me, but even so, if they learn that their mother has committed suicide, they would be very upset. That is reason enough to live. Right?
Yes, I believe it is. The fact they have no contact with you suggests that they have unresolved issues with you, and it probably hurts them too much right now to stay in contact. If you kill yourself before they have the chance to resolve their 'mommy issues' (for lack of a better term), they will never heal.

Kids need to know their parents are there for them, no matter what, even if they aren't in contact. Your daughters, even though they aren't talking to you right now, need to know that you are there, and that they *can* talk to you, if they ever need to. Does that make sense?

Whenever I think about suicide, I think of how it would destroy my mother, and it snaps me out of it.

edit: just read that your kids are 13 and 14....they will definitely want to contact you when they are older. Please don't rob them of that chance. They are just kids. They need you, they need to know you are there, even if you can't be in their lives right now.
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  #11  
Old Mar 30, 2012, 10:21 PM
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Yes, those children are definitely enough reason to live! If you don't feel as though it's worth the struggle for you yourself, then make it about your daughters until you're stronger. It's your future and theirs......trust me, you'll want to be there for it.
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  #12  
Old Mar 30, 2012, 10:56 PM
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I had a b*tard of a step father growing up, and at one point as an adult, cut off all communications with him to heal myself. During that stage, he up and died on me, leaving me no chance to ever heal my relationship to him. For about a year, a saw him walking in the parking lot, at McDonald's, in the stores, and other places. I knew he was dead, but the unresolved issues live on.

Stay on the planet. Give your kids a chance to get that closure to their troubled childhood, and meet you as adults. You deserve to know your adult children. They deserve to know you.
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  #13  
Old Mar 15, 2013, 07:36 PM
hamster-bamster hamster-bamster is offline
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BuggsBunny, DrSkipper, Trippin, BipolarNurse, Redbull, Bipolarmedstudent, Anika (you are listed as anonymous here because of the username change, but of course I remember your post), grandmaof3, Roadie, Bluemountains, thank you for helping me make it a year ago. I am so grateful to all of you.
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  #14  
Old Mar 15, 2013, 08:03 PM
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Just the fact you have made it this far, the fact you have created two lives, influenced others through your work and recreation, and so on. Would you want that all to have been accomplished in vain?
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  #15  
Old Mar 15, 2013, 08:04 PM
hamster-bamster hamster-bamster is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by manicminer View Post
Just the fact you have made it this far, the fact you have created two lives, influenced others through your work and recreation, and so on. Would you want that all to have been accomplished in vain?
very good point about two lives. actually, three. I have a son from my first marriage who lives in Montreal. At the moment of starting this thread a year ago, I did not think of him at all.
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  #16  
Old Mar 15, 2013, 08:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hamster-bamster View Post
very good point about two lives. actually, three. I have a son from my first marriage who lives in Montreal. At the moment of starting this thread a year ago, I did not think of him at all.

Progress is progress so matter how insignificant it seems. Just think of all the lives you've positively influenced throughout your lifetime...
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  #17  
Old Mar 15, 2013, 09:18 PM
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Hamster is definitely a positive influence! I'm glad you've come so far in a year.
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  #18  
Old Mar 15, 2013, 09:30 PM
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I'm so glad we here at PC were able to help you in some small way. You have indeed come a VERY long way in the past year, and you've been an inspiration to many of us through our own battles. Long live Hammy!!!!
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  #19  
Old Mar 15, 2013, 09:35 PM
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Hammy, I am honoured that you feel I have helped, and I want to say once again how proud I am of you for all the progress you have made A real accomplishment, don't forget that!
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  #20  
Old Mar 15, 2013, 09:44 PM
hamster-bamster hamster-bamster is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BipolaRNurse View Post
I'm so glad we here at PC were able to help you in some small way. You have indeed come a VERY long way in the past year, and you've been an inspiration to many of us through our own battles. Long live Hammy!!!!
Nope, not a "small way". Pretty big!
Thank you!
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  #21  
Old Mar 15, 2013, 11:20 PM
Anonymous32785
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hamster-bamster View Post
My daughters have no contact with me, but even so, if they learn that their mother has committed suicide, they would be very upset. That is reason enough to live. Right?
Yes. This is what keeps me going. I am coming out of a severe suicidal depression. It is my kids that keep me going. Great reason to live.
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  #22  
Old Mar 18, 2013, 11:53 PM
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I am just glad you fought and mightily won Hammy! You are an inspiration...look how far you have come!!! I am very glad to have had the opportunity to know you...
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  #23  
Old Mar 19, 2013, 12:09 AM
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Well said Anika, I agree completely! Love you Hammie girly
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  #24  
Old Mar 19, 2013, 12:25 AM
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Yes, I have used my kids as a reason to keep living. I know that children are negatively affected by a parent's suicide.

And there is a lot of reason to think they will want you in their lives at some point.

Sorry I'm late in responding. I just saw this thread--so, I guess I'm basically being a ditto!
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hamster-bamster
  #25  
Old Mar 19, 2013, 10:22 AM
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Hammy, I didn't see this yesterday and I couldn't read through it all, but just know I consider you an inspiration to me for recovery. And I hope you're doing better today.
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