Reasons to live: Poll. * Potential trigger *

Thank you, Dark Heart. I am doing fine now. I am approaching the anniversary of this thread... end of March. Will give me food for thought.

What is it with March???
I had a "stay alive contract" with my friends last year due to a severe bout of anhedonia that started in March of last year ( I think?). Sorry I'm time - retardent weeks and months all feel the same, it could have been 2011 for all I know.

Atleast this year March is good to me

((((((((((Hammy))))))))))

I am feeling kind of off, too. I think it's the season change. Just like in the autumn we all feel it coming, now here comes spring and I think we all feel the shift. That's my theory.

Its Autumn here. Well it should be, but the weather has been screwy for years....

Oh yeah, you're one of those upside down people on the bottom side of the earth.

I still think the big changes of seasons play a big role on us all.

Hammy, I am so glad that you are feeling the reasons to go on. My children were my one thread that kept me from going over the edge. Even now, when I get down, I remember that this is the one area that I am not allowed to screw them up.
I am glad I have been able to help in some way over these months. This goes both ways. You have always been so sensible and knowledgeable with your advice-so thank you!
Also, next time let us know more about your situation while it's happening, so that we can hopefully help in some way.
Take care!
Bluemountains

To tell you the truth, I should have posted in detail a year ago. Ex told me that he did not want me in the kids' lives. I told him about suicidality that followed his decision.

His response was: "why is suicide your default response? If you cannot manage living, tell your social worker and she will commit you to some long term mental facility that would keep you alive."

Arse-hole. You are so much better off without him.

I concur!!!

I think I've expressed many times my thoughts about your ex. I cannot stand the way he tries to manipulate you, Hammy. In any way you can, continue to let your girls know how much you love them. Facebook? Email? Phone calls without him intercepting?
Don't let him haunt you with your past. What's done is done.
Hammy, my heart hurts for you, but I know you have gained so much strength since I have known you.
Bluemountains

Hearing tomorrow... will see ex in court...

Can you shoot him the bird in a dignified way?

Good luck...Stay strong.

Much luck Hammy!
Will you be requiring pocket riders? Because I volunteer.
You can do this

wow, for sure your daughters will wnat to find out who you are and have a relationship at some point. I think its a natural process. You will always be their mom. My daughters are 17 and 18 and they are the reason that I have never followed through with suicide.
I dated a guy in university and his father commit suicide when Dave was 17yrs old. This event effected "David" severely, it affected his whole family. They fell apart. His mother would hide in the closet if I went to their house and his one brother had a mental illness seemed like schizophrenia and this death didnt help. His other brother moved to Toronto and wanted nothing to do with his family because the past was too painful. In the end I broke off with Dave because he needed me more than I needed him. I didnt want to be burdened with this death event , it frightened me and I left Dave. He was a nice guy and didnt deserve all of this.