[dubblemonkey]

right!....

okay!...I don't get freaking 'apps' freaking iphones freaking bluetooth freaking dumbass bookface!

I don't get nuthin' that don't get me?

and I would like to see all this new techno crap 'get' me...like it can!

and it's obvious I am somewhat shattered...

it's very simple it's never that freaking hard to figure out what motivates people...

my mum went back home...
my dad went to freaking Burma...

my ex girlfriend is still only interested in girls...and

she's a cop...

and thats ok right?...

well not really....I don't like cops
they have been a part of my life for as long as I can remember...

the weirdest cops I met were almost not even cops I was awake for 6 days I drove a truck 2000 miles and finally found somewhere to sleep and the devil in my amphetamine brain told me to climb up 7 floors of this building ...on the outside ..to get more drugs!...as the devil would!

the cops arrived....and as I produced my drivers licence....a freaking needle flew out of my hand....and they just watched it unceremoniously land on the floor...jabbed out of the carpet!

and the eyes went from the vibrating needle wobbling on it's point in the hotel carpet this immediately new addition to this already unusual scenerio...

I blinked...but I did not mean to...cos all this was very ordinary...after climbing up the outside of the building twice...

obviously the manager didn't want nobody climbing upside his establishment

....so I'm surrounded by police and what do I do?

...I politely ask them to breathalise me...so I can get on my way..
and they do!...and I am way under the limit...
and yet?

only three hours earlier I was in the pub and ordering two drinks each time at my table where there was only one person...

I walked in there with a ghost

...and later I drove my truck right in the middle of them...the road was occupied by people already past...

I arrived at my mums house...my boss was after me I had spent 3 grand...I had not slept for 8 days..it was his money...

I had injected more of everything I never knew and drove many miles around australia....that motel was only one of 6 I had stayed at..

and yet those cops let me go
__________________________

so I figured this place out...

we all have stories

we can tell them here right

[bluemountains]

Hey James,
Are you okay??? Your story is very fantastic, in an alarming way. I am so sorry that the people you count on were not around at the beginning of your journey, and so glad you are here to tell us the outcome of the story.
Take care, we all love you!
Bluemountains

[dubblemonkey]

..so I'm sitting in this dirty stairwell...in this highrise shithole...
watching my girlfriend mix up her heroin...watching my girlfriend shoot up her heroin...

that I paid for...

otherwise she would get into cars...

and I didn't love her...it was a dumbass relationship
mania and youth

I keep trying to save people...sometimes I get seriously lost

this is just another experience

I guess the point I am trying to make?

whatever we are whatever has happenend to us whatever we have happened to whatever it is..

I'm in the process of trying to validate myself....because I feel very empty...

I'm trying to validate some of the things I have experienced...I have to go back in time to feel real

I ****ing hate feeling empty

[faerie_moon_x]

Sometimes you have to walk through the darkness so that you recognize it when it's coming. I think that some people get swallowed up into the darkness. Other people start seeing the lights at the edge. And some of those people actually make it out. And then what? I think it's so that you can shine the light backwards at those still lost. Even if it's just a candle flame.

[optimize990h]

I liked it.

[Moose72]

Very nice! Reminds me of my blog. Save this somewhere!