[ManicPanic]

I've been in regular therapy and taking meds for the past 3 years. My therapist has been encouraging me to apply for SSI/SSDI for the past 2. Well, I finally applied for both. I wanted to apply all along, but I've just been dreading the process and too ill to make the moves. Thankfully my therapist set me up with an advocate to help me with the process, and, wow, just so grateful.

It can't come soon enough! Both my parents have been at the end of their ropes for a good while now in regard to helping me financially. And, well, there's no rope left from either of them! For 3 years now, my poor father's been giving me $200 a month to pay for bills... waters been off for over a year and I've been too ashamed to tell him, to ask him for even more money. (Thankfully I've been living by myself in a home owned by my mom, but it was recently sold for back property taxes and I'm just awaiting eviction.) I'm almost 40, and trying to get $2-3 "for gas" from mom is excruciatingly painful for me... she moans and groans and spares no effort to make me feel like absolute crap. WTF happened to my life???

It can't come soon enough! "How about I find you a job helping someone just a few days a week!?" I can't even take care of myself! Mom! Seriously! Or she's always saying "I wish you still had that good factory job you had after high school... you never should have left it!" I've done amazing things since then and kept amazing job... some college (first in my family), marketing job, owed a business for a while, etc... but no credit is ever given! And she's been telling me for months now that I'm not going to get SSI/SSDI because so-and-so in the family tried for "YEARS AND YEARS", for their "back pain", before they ever got it. "I just don't want you to get your hopes up!" I wish I'd never told her!

It really can't come soon enough! I have Bipolar, mixed episodes, rapid cycling, major anxiety, near full blown agoraphobia (don't leave the house except for therapy and bi-weekly grocery shopping in the very early AM), deep depression (don't help that I'm living in trash, have no water, and no money... and soon-to-be homeless with pets I love!), and ADHD. To boot, I'm super paranoid that my siblings (and mom) are always plotting and conspiring against me, well, because they pretty much are!

Anyway, I applied! Thankfully! I applied for SSDI a few weeks ago... and I have my first initial hearing in two days (this Friday) for SSI. Please don't tell me it might take "years and years" to get it... I've heard that story... and I've read about it! Please tell me you've gotten it quickly and on the first try! I have 3 years of solid documentation and my therapists full support... I have an advocate helping me and they're going with me on Friday. I'm VERY VERY thankful for the support I am getting! And despite being so incredibly stressed... full of anxiety... and anxious... I am somewhat hopeful... but I'm just not sure how long, well, I know it won't last very long if I'm left waiting for months and month... I'm going to be homeless and it's so damn hard to ask for another dime from my father as it is!

I'd like to be able to give my mom and my dad a big chunk of "back-pay", if any, for helping me. I'd like to be free from everyone's control. I'd like to have water! I'd like to know I'm not going to lose my pets and be homeless! And I'd like to just be able to breath for a while!

[ManicPanic]

Also, I applied for and was approved to get Medicaid a couple of months ago. I had to meet with an ALJ and they've already declared me "legally disabled" in my state... so, I'm hoping this will somehow help with the SSI/SSDI claim.

[~Christina]

I hope you get some help quickly, I know some states are quicker then others.

[ManicPanic]

Thank you very much! I hope! I was denied for Medicaid and it didn't take but a couple of weeks to meet with the ALJ for the appeal hearing... and then I was approved a week later. I know this is for something different, but I'm hoping it's a good sign.

Originally Posted by ~Christina

I hope you get some help quickly, I know some states are quicker then others.

[sassymck]

Hi. I don't understand all these abbreviations as I am Canadian, but I wanted to drop in and wish you all the best!!!! Good luck to you. I assume it's some kind of disability pension. I hope it doesn't take you too long to get. All the best to you. You have a lot of struggles in your life right now. To get some relief would be very helpful I'm sure. Thinking of you.

[bluewave7]

If you got Medicaid it is a good sign you will get ssi/ssdi. I am glad you have an advocate. I think you will get it. Some people get it in just a few months or sooner. In the meantime can you find other resources available immediately...like food stamps, free care clinics, habitat for humanity...housing needs?

[Charly1]

I did get SSDI the very first try. I had a pdoc who helped with it. I can't remember exactly how long it took to get the approval but it was pretty quick. Best of luck to you. Hopefully it won't take that long.

[ManicPanic]

Thanks for the supportive replies!

I felt a sense of relief after applying, but that only lasted an hour before the Manic Panic kicked in. I didn't sleep last weekend thinking-thinking-thinking about how I didn't explaining my condition well enough, all the way to already losing the benefits during a random review 3 to 7 years down the road. Yesh! Then I couldn't stop sleeping for the better part of the week. At least all the papers are in!

I recently got a letter from SSD with a date for a mental evaluation with their doc in a couple weeks. I sense things are moving right along, so that feels good. Yet, I'm still very nervous about the appointment! My years of regular treatment and compliance are extremely well documented, so I was hoping that would be enough. What could their doc really learn from me in 15-20 mins? Will this short visit ruin my claim?

I just need some stress relief so I can stop feeling like a scumbag, get my life sorted, focus on treatment, and hopefully start feeling well.