[bluewave7]

Hi,
I was in the psyche ward for a week in Feb. of this year with mania and panic and psychosis. It was the worse episode of my life. I had recently moved and a new Dr. told me to go off my mood stabilizer cold turkey bc it was messing up my blood. I became manic and suicidal and extremely freaked out. Then they found out they had switched charts accidentally and my blood had been just fine.

So my husband and I moved across the country to care for my Mother in Oct. she just lost her husband. Stress. My husband had broken his neck 6 months prior and had to have a metal plate put in and was in a wheelchair. Stress. He quit his job. I had to quit my job due to a torn rotater cuff and I lost the sc case. Stress. My husband and my son got into a fight at Christmas and my Mother kicked my husband out and blamed it all on him. Stress. Our marriage was headed toward divorce. Stress. My mother was pushing me to divorce him and I was angry he left me but my Mother neglected to tell me she had kicked him out. I started having mixed episodes and my Mother shook me and told me to stop it. I was suicidal and she dropped me at ER and told the nurses she was done with it and sped off. Two weeks before she took me for a panic attack. I left and went back to my husband and she took our borrowed nest egg back. We now are struggling and unemployed but medicated. My mother does not want a relationship unless it is just with me. My husband is hurt.

I have been in a gruesome depression for three weeks or more. All I can do is read romance novels. I don't paint anymore. I find it terrifying to leave the house and socialize with people. There is a bible study tonite and I of course don't want to go so he says hell go without me. I feel so bad for not being able to function. And I cry alot. I am saddened that because of this BP I never will measure up...forget my parents...they don't want to understand BP and just think I married wrong. I feel so alone.

Now

[Travelinglady]

I am sorry you are struggling so. Obviously the stress from your family is not helping. Are you seeing a mental-health professional now that you are out of the hospital? I recommend not only a psychiatrist but also a therapist. You definitely sound depressed, as you say.

You are not alone, because you do have us here. I know it's not the same as real life, but we do understand BP and are willing to be supportive. What can we do to help, dear one?