hurt, very

I just need to vent. Today is my brother's birthday. When my mom found out that he had done not so well on a quiz, she started lashing into him, saying that he "shouldn't spend all his time on video games" and implying that he was stupid.

I stood up for him, kindly suggesting that she not criticize him on his birthday, that today we should celebrate him, not tear him down. Nothing that I said was argumentative or fight-provoking, but...my mom exploded. Sarcasm, "thanks for the lecture"...but worst of all, she started treating my brother even worse. She picked up his bag of presents and dropped it in his lap, then marched into the kitchen and started cleaning up dinner, not even bothering to watch her own son open his presents. He made all sorts of sweet comments-"ooh, this shirt looks nice. Thanks, mom!" and she just ignored him.

She thinks that because she works hard, she has license to treat her family like crap, and I've just about had it with her games. My brother deserves better. I deserve better. She should go to therapy, or take up yoga, or do something that will help her relax so that she doesn't have to scream at us for no reason to destress.

Yesterday, she got angry with me because I wanted to go home with her and Dad after church instead of staying for youth group. Keep in mind that 90% of the time, I go home with them and she has no problem with it. It's just yesterday she was under pressure, so she needed something to get angry about.

And today, before all of the drama I listed above with my brother's birthday, she marched up to me and declared that she is short-staffed, so I am working tomorrow at her office. She didn't ask me, she told me. I'm really busy with school stuff (I have to finish my classes up from a distance since I got sent home from Italy), and I'm not sure if I have time to work. But that doesn't matter to her. If I so much as do anything to suggest that she should-heaven forbid!-do more work (such as asking her to drive me to a friend's house back when I was young) she would blow up. The double standard would be comical if it didn't hurt so damn much.

Uggh. I've really had it. I've cried for the last half hour. If I ever have kids, I am NOT going to treat them like this.

Am I crazy, or does she seem a little out of line?

It is absolutely out of line. Your little brother is sure lucky to have you as his big sister.

There is lore that says that http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Johannes_Kepler, one of the greatest mathematicians, survived because of the love of his older sister. He was sickly and miserable when little and his parents did not love him, but the sister did. Do not know how much truth there is to the story, though.

Switching topics:

Now I see why your not having a driver's license matters so much!

Your mom was way out of line, acting like an insolent child ON your brother's birthday!

Yes she works hard, but a paycheque does not a parent make.
She should chill the fk out and put the needs of her kids first!
eg. My deceased dad and niece share a birthday, do you think my sister mopes about the entire day? NO! she goes out of her way to make Krishana's birthday feel like a real birthday, even though she wants to cry all day for dad.

Ugh, you're mother needs to grow up, she's infuriating and I dont even know the woman.
Yoga would definitly be beneficial for her.

Oh sweetie
So not fair. Big hugs to you and your little bro. He must adore you. And happy birthday to him.

Wow, that's terrible!

I feel bad for you brother and agree with Hamster that he's lucky he has you as a sister.

Your mom needs to grow up. It's one thing to be upset that your kid hasn't done well on a quiz. It's another entirely to imply that they are stupid. That's wrong. It's horrible to be made to feel you're stupid. I know because I lived through that. Everyone treated me like I was stupid.

And I agree that if she's stressed at work she shouldn't take it out on the family. I had a horrible stressful day yesterday. I was glad to get home to escape it and be with my family. Work stress does not equal home stress. Leave it at work.