instantly rapid-cycling or just trying different viewpoints?

I find myself changing how I feel throughout the day, as follows:

- I can be very happy that I have survived the suicide attempt, to the point of simply enjoying basking in the sunlight doing nothing and savoring being alive

- I can be quite unhappy (but not horribly unhappy) that I do not see my daughters, due to my past actions against my best interest and their best interest, do not have a good job because I gave up the good job that I had, etc.

So it is either some sort of sudden onset of rapid cycling (prompted by going off Lithium?..) or just a change based on what I compare my situation to/with, in logical terms. Alive? Great. About to become unemployed? Not so great.

I do not have any other symptoms - I sleep OK while on the same medication for sleep as before all of this set in, perform fine at work, etc. etc. No functioning difficulties, anger, rapid speech or racing thoughts, sense of despair or worthlessness, or anything of that kind. No spending.

I even started learning how much I am in debt, which I should have started learning several months ago when I began paying for legal fees. I just let it slide and relied on automatic minimum payments on the credit cards and let the balances grow. So now I have put together a spreadsheet (I do not have quicken or anything fancy, so just a homegrown spreadsheet will suffice) where I put data, such as balances, interest rates, when the 0% promotional period ends, etc. - without emotions, just facts.

But the thing shifts from happy to unhappy to happy to unhappy... in a never-ending circle.

Hammy, do you journal, keep a diary or do the mood chart?
Want you to stay healthy.

I think you're experiencing normal things because different situations make you feel different things.

You're going through a tough situation right now so these emotions WILL happen. Keep close contact with your therapist to help you through your stress. They will be a life saver.

It could also be a side effect from lithium withdrawal. I know I become emotional when I drop it suddenly.

If its lithium withdrawal, it's like coming to terms with the reality that the lithium buffered. The reality is still always there whether we realize it or not. Problem with meds and medicating, problems are still there when you come off.

Sounds like within normal range feelings for everything you've been through and are currently going through. A highly intelligent person is going to think a lot about these things. Going from very happy to quite unhappy is ok IMO ... But if you get to feeling unrealistically ecstatic like you're high on acid (i played with my phone for a lomg time last night watching the color "trails" of light, not a good sign when totally sober) or deathly dark on verge of hurting yourself, then you must try to get help and therapy or meds or whatever helps you. Please stay safe Hammie, you're a wonderful woman and very loved.

Remember vitamin D, C, biotin, B's and other supplements to help your body deal with the detox and withdrawal from the lithium. Maybe try bee pollen or royal jelly if you like that it's a really good source of nutrients. And the yogurt you like is so healthy too. I hope you're ok. Much love.

Sounds like normal emotions to me, hamster. I think you're okay. I say if you start having othe symptoms is when to worry.

I think although we experience normal things b/c of the situation. Ppl with BPD don't have normal emotions...emotions are more intense. I experience many of the same things the OP mentioned. I take Lithium and still have days when my mood changes over and over.

It sounds like normal life stuff. I wouldn't worry.

Thank you, guys!

I won't worry. I have also just realized that part of it is migraines. I have, for some reason (probably because I stopped exercising, and exercising prevents migraines), been having frequent migraines.

And, I do not have free health coverage through the county right now, and cannot afford Imitrex nasal spray that helps me the best (it costs $270 for a month!! Generic!!). Even Imitrex tablets, which are not at all as effective as the spray, are $100++ a month. So for now I am taking cheap OTC Bayer migraine medicine that does not help a lot and just suffering through. I might get coverage later if the county approves based on the amount of child/spousal support I owe (I am over the income limits by myself, and without insurance through work).

When migraine attacks let up, I now experience euphoria. It is a normal reaction - some people experience euphoria, some experience tiredness, some nothing. Just physiological euphoria. But I have not had it for awhile this way...

I had it as a kid, and the medication I was given for migraines back then was a combination of Tylenol (Paracetomol) with caffeine with probably aspirin - the same stuff that is in the Bayer migraine medicine.

So apparently Imitrex is so powerful that it cancels the euphoria even when it does not fully cancel the attack itself. And the Tylenol+Caffeine combo does not.

Frankly, I even like it, to some extent. It is like a prize you get for suffering through the pain!

It sounds like you're going through the normal ups and downs based on what's going on in your life right now. I doubt if anyone is really consistently happy (or even sad) every minute of every day, it will always change/vary as each day progresses. You're under a lot of stress and actually seem to be coping with it well -I'm happy for you for that!

From another perspective, though, (when I'm well) I'm glad to change mood depending on what's going on at a given moment and throughout the day. I'd hate to be completely level -it would make me feel inhuman! Yes, it can be intense at times, but again, I feel human, and intensely so! I think once one is stable on meds it then becomes a matter of coping with whatever life throws at you, and if things get to be too much -well, I'm grateful for therapy

Ugh, it sucks you don't have insurance right now!

In any case, for what it's worth, in my job in healthcare I've worked with a world-renowned headache/migraine specialist (neurologist, and people come from other countries just to consult him). His advice is always the same: cut out caffeine. Cut out (usually OTC) caffeine-containing medication. He says that this will initially cause more headaches before you feel better. And then he prescribes a prescription migraine-prevention medication --which unfortunately you probably can't afford because you don't have insurance

So I don't know if cutting out caffeine and those OTC meds will help without the prescription med, but for what it's worth it's what this famous specialist always recommends -good luck!

That is another thing. I am grateful to feel human.

Thanks! I will cut out the OTC meds. Since they are not helping much anyway, why not?

I'm not sure which OTC's contain caffeine, but I think Exedrin (sp?) is one of them. But I suppose you could take others to help with the pain (at least until you get insurance) as long as they don't contain caffeine.

I know what it's like to have chronic pain, it affects everything! I hope you find relief soon.

It is a good idea. Thank you!

I do not take Tylenol by itself because it can cause what is called REBOUND headaches, and I do not need MORE headaches, thanks, but no thanks.

For years, I could not take NSAIDS because I was told not to when I was first put on Lithium on a psych unit. But now that I am off Lithium, I might as well try Ibuprofen. That is an idea! I did not think of it because I was so used to the notion that NSAIDs were off limits for me.