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#1
Apr 20, 2013, 08:29 PM
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Do you ever just get tired of working so hard all the time just to get to the same place as everyone else around you?
You work and you work and you work to get a step ahead, but then a manic episode or depressive episode sends you two steps backwards. Or you work and you work despite being in mental pain to do well in your classes - you had to drop one due to an episode - and then finally when you feel a lot better you think you can relax and enjoy life again, but then you have to make up the ground you lost when you were not 100% by working even harder. It's just so unfair. Of course everyone else around you has their own stresses to deal with, but no one (that you know of) has this stupid condition dragging them down. End of my complaint.... 
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 Anonymous32895, Darth Bane, Pierro
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#2
Apr 20, 2013, 08:47 PM
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For me it's the constant strain of working to keep up a pretense of being someone I'm not... & the older I get the harder & more difficult it becomes. And, I think, the worst part is realizing that it will always be this way unless I just totally fall apart at some point down the road. Sometimes it feels like I just can't stand it another minute... but I do...
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 Pierro
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#3
Apr 20, 2013, 09:00 PM
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For me its that I wish I could keep a job!
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 3 mg Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily Mania Sept/Oct 2024 Mania (July/August 2024) Mania (December 2023) Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023) Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021) Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021) |
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#4
Apr 20, 2013, 09:07 PM
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I'm hoping to return to the workforce & hold it together.
__________________
#SpoonieStrong Spoons are a visual representation used as a unit of measure to quantify how much energy individuals with disabilities and chronic illnesses have throughout a given day. 1). Depression 2). PTSD 3). Anxiety 4). Hashimoto 5). Fibromyalgia 6). Asthma 7). Atopic dermatitis 8). Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria 9). Hereditary Angioedema (HAE-normal C-1) 10). Gluten sensitivity 11). EpiPen carrier 12). Food allergies, medication allergies and food intolerances. . 13). Alopecia Areata |
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#5
Apr 21, 2013, 04:31 AM
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100% agree with you korafrancesca. but you forget to mention - working so hard to find "silver lining" in darkest time. anyway we are wiser than those "others"
 ( it is "lost" reference ) because of obstacles we faced !
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I am lost in my own mind !  Hypo-mania and Depression are alike a Knife of Dreams !  Dx - Bipolar II  I'm not feeling well ... I got pain !!! Effie, We all got pain !!!!! 
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#6
Apr 21, 2013, 06:25 AM
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Quote:
I agree! I try so hard to keep my actual mind secret from everyone around me, even my husband. I've been so super high for two weeks now but I try to contain it and end up having a panic attack because i can't let the energy out. And when I'm depressed, how can i tell people I didn't hear what they said because my brain was throwing images of self-injury at me just then? I too am mostly functional, so no one will ever know who I really am unless I lose it. I hope that day never comes but sometimes I wish it would so that i could stop pretending! <3
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Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
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