I've been an 8 all day. But I heard a song, that has me crying. Usually music is a rescue for me, but not tonight. I think I'm at about a 3 right now.

I hate this s**t!!!!

I know I cycle very rapidly. Multiple times a day, but I still hate it. I'd rather the hypo constantly.

Jeffro

[BipolaRNurse]

Originally Posted by jeffro1972

I'd rather the hypo constantly.

Jeffro

You, me, and probably 99% of all bipolar people in the world. If we could just be hypomanic all the time, we wouldn't even HAVE an illness.....we'd just be super energized happy people!

Only.....there's euphoric AND dysphoric hypomania, and dysphoric sucks big time. (I'm in one of those phases, only my pdoc's calling it mania rather than hypomania.) So be careful what you wish for---you may get it, and you may not want it!

I can and have cycled while I was in a session w/ my doc. It's scary. I've only been in a true mania twice, and the last was over 10 years ago. But the depression, and the hypo are killing me.

To be honest, I had to look up what dysphoric mania. And it is what my T said Tuesday, mixed episodes. I'm trying to get better. She said I'm high functioning, but it sure as hell don't feel like it.

Jeffro

[BipolaRNurse]

I hear ya. That's what I've been told as well, and you're right, sometimes it doesn't feel like I'm high-functioning. In fact, lately I've felt like a five-year-old who just got startled and wet her pants.

Sorry, I just read your signature, and started laughing.

Okay. The feeling of kicking it's *** is coming back. I've been in combat, homeless, and in jail, and those things didn't kick my butt. Neither will this.

Oh God!! I'm really cycling!!

This is scary!