[Melmo]

Ok so some of you may know this because I have talked about it on here before but I broke up with my daughter's dad over 2 years ago when he cheated on me with a friend of a friend of ours. I later found out that he had been cheating on me our whole relationship, almost a year and a half. He also cheated with my then best friend while I was pregnant, found that out much later.
Well, when he told me that he cheated on me, he also told me that he had gotten her pregnant. So my daughter is 3, and their daughter (who is my daughter's half sister) is going to be 2 in August.
Since last summer, we have been talking about letting the girls meet, since they are sisters, I think they should. She brought up the idea first, (By she, I mean the woman who got pregnant by my ex, I'll just call her M) I thought it was a good idea, not thrilled about seeing her but I really want my daughter to know her sister. Well between then and now I have pretty much decided that I don't want to see her at all. I still want them to meet but I just can't make myself do it. I am going back and forth between telling myself it's perfectly understandable to feel this way and I shouldn't have to make myself do it, and then I also feel like I am being selfish because I am preventing my daughter from meeting her sister.
This would be an easy fix, because I could just have her dad pick her up and meet her sister without me being here but of course, nothing in my life is that easy. Her dad went to jail in Nov 2011 and I have to be there when he is around her. I did send M an email a few weeks back saying that if she wanted it to still happen, she wasn't to be there because I didn't want to see her, but she isn't liking that idea because she wants to be there for her daughter when they meet. She says she doesn't think it's fair that she has to miss it, and I told her that she effed up when she cheated with him, so this is the consequences of her actions.
What do you guys think? Am I being unreasonable?

[faerie_moon_x]

I understand this is very hard. It would be good for the sister's to meet. I mean, it could be a very important relationship for your daughter.

It may be painful for you to go. But, it could also be theraputic as well. Sometimes we have to let go of the things that hurt us and try to move forward. Instead of seeing this woman as "the b*** who slept with my ex," see her as "the mother of my daughter's sister." I do think it is unfair to request that the mom not be there. It will be awkward, for sure. But learning to let go of things that hurt will help you and your daughter in the long run.

For example, my ex has full custody of my son. I would rather never see him again, but that's not possible. A few months ago, my son had to have surgery. I had to spend a whole morning at the hospital with my ex, his fiance, and my ex-mother-in-law (who was always hateful and judgemental even before the divorce.) Was it comfrotable? No. Did I get through it okay? Yes. I was there for my son. It didn't matter who else was there, I know he needed me there, too. I actually like my ex's fiance (in truth I feel sorry for her, knowing the type of person he really is, LOL,) and so we had a nice conversation.

And in the end, my son knows he has support on all sides, which is the most important thing.

It will get easier with time. Don't let your daughter miss out on getting to know her sister.