[nivaniva]

Here is my deal.. my psychologist reffered me to a psychiatrist, said she is extremely good at her job..my psychologist at one point said I was depressed and I think at one time said I was hypomanic but im not sure..

Anyways, after seeing the psychiatrist she put me on an anti depressant called VIIBRYD and said it was a very good pill that should do wonders for me.. instantly it got me out of a very dark depression I was in. I felt great, was doing things around the house, talking to my wife, being social etc etc. I was on 10mg VIIBRYD for the first week then 20mg the second week.

When I met with the psychiatrist 2 weeks later, she told me to go back to 10mg VIIBRYD and put me on 25mg LAMOTRIGINE(LAMICTAL) and told me every 2 weeks ill increase the doseage by 25mg. I stood on the VIIBRYD 10mg for 1more week and took the LAMOTRIGINE(LAMICTAL) for the first week. I then had another appt with the psychiatrist. She said for me to stop the VIIBRYD which I did.. and this week ive only been taking the 25mg LAMOTRIGINE(LAMICTAL) and also 500mg of DEPAKOTE.. I don’t know how I feel.... is this normal?

I feel like my thoughts have slowed down. I no longer feel very happy but I don’t feel sad either. Obviously im still able to laugh at jokes, tell jokes, talk to people.. but I don’t know how to explain how I feel. Is this normal or am I taking too much medicine? I know both these pills im taking is for bipolar. The psychiatrist said in our last meeting something about bipolar but I don’t know exactly what she said. I don’t think I was paying 100% full attention or something and im always too scared to ask the psychologist/psychiatrist about a diagnosis because I don’t want them to think im either pushing for a diagnosis or I don’t want them to think that I am something just because I mention it.

Anyway, today at work... im ALWAYS stressed out at work, even after starting all of these medications. The VIIBRYD gave me a ton of energy but I couldn’t focus at work.. these mood stabilizers are helping me but I still feel panic at work. Today I got called into my boss' office and was basically told something that made me feel instantly in a rut. Then about 15 minutes later someone told me that a problem that has been going on since 2008(!!!!) has finally been caught and I need to fix it(I work in human resources...HR ).. so now that im always panicing at work, I got yelled at more or less from my boss.. then no time after that I was informed that I have PILES of work that needs to be corrected because it went un noticed for so many years. I cant even think straight at the moment, its bad lol...

Also, at night im still having tons of racing thoughts. The racing thoughts have happened still since Ive been on these mood stabilizers but I don’t think they happen all the time.. but they're still happening when I go to bed. I cant slow down my mind..

I don’t know what im asking.. I do but.. am I bipolar? I don’t want to ask my dr's... or are these meds too much or something? Is it possible that I have anxiety? Why am I so tired all of the time? Ive actually been sleeping now but, im so f'ing tired it isn’t funny.. I have no more energy since I stopped the VIIBRYD..ive only stopped them since Monday!!!!!!!!uhh.. I have no clue what is wrong with me.

I took the VIIBRYD for 2 weeks and lamictal for 2 or 3 so far and this is my first week on the depakote. I don’t know, I think im losing my mind and im only 27.. I highly doubt anyone has even read this.. I think im just ranting and want to type this stuff out to get it off my chest. If anyone actually read all this and if you can comprehend what im trying to say, please help. I see my psychologist today after work.

Oh, and I think I want to stop seeing the psychologist. Is this normal? Shes a really nice person but.. I don’t think talking to her is doing anything and ive been seeing her for several months. Shes a very nice person but I don’t think talking is doing anything. I don’t even think these pills are doing anything but making me crazy.

/end rant

[~Christina]

I think what you are going through is pretty standard. Starting on meds are always a bit of a " omg do i need them " kinda feel. It does take time to see results , Lamictal is a very slow medication to work typically , because you have to titrate up your does slowly.

Only you can make a decision about staying in Therapy and taking medications. My opinion for what it worth is give it some more time.

Its had to have patience when you feel like your tumbling into different pieces. You will read here that many people are in your situation or was in the past.

Welcome to PC and I hope you can find the support and help here that I know I have.

[ultramar]

I know you don't want to, but the only person who can come close to accurately diagnosing you is your psychiatrist, so if you really do want to know, that's the route you're going to have to take. It's a perfectly legitimate question, I don't think she would judge you for it. You're also being put on heavy duty medications, you certainly have a right to know why, what symptoms they're supposed to be treating, what kind of treatment outcome she is looking for, and more importantly, you are looking for.

Good luck.