I've been feeling restless and energetic the past few days. Last night I was playing a board game with someone and I remember feeling very pressured for no reason and rushed for time and easily irritated, felt like I could cry I was so frustrated. My thoughts are racing a lot right now with ideas and I feel impulsive and I want to do something. I'm pretty sure I have Borderline Personality Disorder. I also have Clinical Depression. I don't really know what this is right now though? I feel kind of like crying but at the same time I feel inspired or something? Energetic. Pressured to do things quickly. Frustrated. Talkative, even, which is unusual for me.

[bluewave7]

I'm not a dr but it sounds like hypomania or a mixed episode. But you are not dxed with bipolar. I would tell your dr what is going on.

I don't have a doctor.

[~Christina]

Sounds mixed to me , since you have no Pdoc you really should find one and make an appointment.

Hope you feel better soon

[Kristiemarie]

Mixed to me too.

How long do they tend to last?

[ultramar]

From your profile it sounds like you haven't been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. If you were, I think it would be easier to suggest what 'kind' of episode it is, because I'd be sure it was some kind of 'episode' in the first place. As you say you haven't been evaluated for it by a doctor yet, this is why I hesitate to label it.

But just to widen the perspective, there are other possibilities as well: for example, depression itself is often not just pure 'sadness' and can include other emotions and levels of energy as well. If anxiety plays a role, that makes it even more complicated. Environmental factors can also play a role.

I know you don't have a doctor, but if this mood is really distressing you (and you're worried you might have bipolar), I'd strongly suggest you get referred to a psychiatrist by your PCP. Not necessarily to get meds (it may turn out you don't need them), but at least to get a handle on what's going on, and what kinds of treatments might help.

Good luck.

I can't see a doctor or anyone. That involves talking to someone. I don't want to do that. I'm kind of socially dumb and anxious.

[~Christina]

Lots Of people have anxiety about Doctors or talking to everyday people. But the situation is YOU need help and to get the help you need to talk to a doctor. Psychiatrists have seen and heard it all , nothing you could say will shock them. If you just cant seem to begin a conversation print out what you posted above and give it to a doctor and they will help you. Many of us gave our opinion that you could be in a Mixed state , we are not doctors , just our opinions. Episodes can go on for weeks or months easily , So please reach out and get some help, you deserve to have a calmer life.

[BipolaRNurse]

What Christina said, above.

Mood lability (rapid ups and downs) is one of the hallmarks of borderline, although there is such a thing as an "ultradian" bipolar pattern with multiple mood changes in a period of days or even hours. It's fairly rare in BP though.

Since you haven't really been diagnosed with anything, we can't offer much except our own experiences. People tend to diagnose themselves off the Internet, and it really drives doctors up the wall because the average layperson will get just enough knowledge to be dangerous.

I know you feel awkward about talking to a doctor. I did too. I was relatively sure I had bipolar, but I was mortified when I first started seeing a psychiatrist, because I thought it meant I was crazy. But you must go in order to find out what's really wrong with you and start treatment. Having a mental health diagnosis puts you at a much higher risk for other medical problems, and you want to get a handle on the illness so you don't run into these at an early age, as well enabling you to live your best life.