[EBD8]

54 y/o male, meds Depakote, 2000mg a day. I've finally accepted the fact I'm bipolar. Yeah it took a long time for me. The question I have is why, why, why, even when things are going great my mind/brain is constantly trying to come up with a better solution. It doesn't matter how simple the situation is, say even going out to eat. It drives me crazy and at times interferes with my relationships with my children and girlfriend. Then I begin question my own sanity and usually withdraw cause I can't or won't shut up. I feel happy inside but these darn thoughts won't stop. It does interfere with my ability to post here cause after I type a post I will read it at least 50 times to make sure I think it's correct. Does anyone else struggle with this and if so any suggestions.

[bluewave7]

I have had that in the past and I've heard it called...analysis paralysis. Sorry you are having this go on. Do you feel anxious or is it more like manic rapid overlaying thoughts? Sometimes it's best for me to just make a choice and let go of perfectionism. Deep breathing helps and walking and just trying to let go and let things happen knowing I will survive it. Have you talked to a therapist or your Pdoc about this? I would write it down and remember to tell them. Hope your day gets a bit better.

[Nessa213]

I do this even if it's something as simple as trying to decide which movie I want to watch that night. Analysis paralysis... I like that.

I heard someone say once that some of us try to fix everything ELSE because we know we can't fix ourselves. We feel broken inside and we've given up on fixing ourselves inside so we try to go about fixing everything else. Call it neurotic... call it empathy... or even co-dependancy... I'm way guilty of this too.

I try to allow myself to be selfish every once in a while. And as blue put it: letting go of perfectionism.

Originally Posted by EBD8

It does interfere with my ability to post here cause after I type a post I will read it at least 50 times to make sure I think it's correct. Does anyone else struggle with this and if so any suggestions.

Oooooh yeah. I absolutely relate. Write and read. Over and over and over. And over and over again... a little adjustment here, a little adjustment there. I've never been able to take an actual count of the "write/read/tweak/read again" loop of repetitions of course, being so engrossed in the process/on autopilot. It only becomes a conscious thing after a couple of hours (or more) have passed. So, 50+? Oh yeah. Easily. Combine this with a propensity for a dense writing style (with lots of parenthetical sidenotes, aka rabbit trails, lol) and top it off with having no sense of time and... So yeah, it's a problem(!)

Suggestions... Well, trying to be more conscious of catching when it starts to happen (not easy!). Learning to say, "good enough", even if it takes saying it aloud. Which it does. And not just once. One thing that's helped me: a rule not allowing myself to post in the morning before work (or having to be anywhere at a certain time, really(!)). It doesn't cure it, but is more of a form of damage control. One less thing to lose a job over, haha.

Going out to eat. Oh yes. If there is a favorite, I'll almost always just go for that. Less thinking. If there are 2 or 3 contenders, trying to remember that whatever dish isn't picked can be tried another time. I hate big menus. Overload of info to factor. Strategy: scan (not read!) very quickly to locate a couple possibilities, but do not decide. Abandon menu. When it's time to speak up, let it be a surprise --just blurt out whichever comes to mind. Let the subconscious do the work. Sounds stupid, but it can work quite well.

Biggest thing is probably remembering that it isn't the biggest thing(!) And that most of the time there is not ONE right answer for what to do. And in a sense, isn't that what's driving us? Questioning everything trying to find THE answer? The one perfect thing? Which.... doesn't really exist(!)