[manicdepressive07]

I know that should seem like a “no brainer” but I just wanted to share my story incase anyone for whatever reason is thinking about “lessening” the dose of their medication or going off it completely (on their own).

My medication has been making me gain weight, drastically : / Although it’s supposed to be one of the more “weight neutral” atypical antipsychotics (Saphris) I have gained 15lbs since I started taking it in January.

Anyway, the weight gain, coupled with things like not having any daily structure in my life (I’m currently unemployed) started causing me to get somewhat depressed. (I saw somewhat because I wasn’t full blown depressed like I have been in the past) I’m supposed to take 5mg daily, and I decided that I would cut my little wafer tablets in half and only take 2.5mg daily. I also decided to start working out and eating better… I thought I would shed the pounds this way. Well not only did it have very little impact on my weight… it caused me some SEVERE emotional problems! For the entire week I was messing with my meds, I was SUPER depressed. I would get upset and irritated very easily, I kept causing problems with my boyfriend, and all I wanted to do was sleep all day. I once told my boyfriend while under the influence of alcohol, “sometimes I wish I would just not wake up so I could sleep forever” (I don’t remember saying this). I would also “get in my own head” too much and my mind would begin racing about random things and I felt like I couldn’t calm my thoughts down. (Something that used to happen before I was on medication)

Anyway, I told my pdoc how I was feeling and he immediately suggested I go back to my regular dosage. He asked if I thought the weight gain was really attributed to the medication and I told him “yes definitely!” He told me not to worry about it, and said to continue to work out and eat better, but to stay on my medication. He said “Why sacrifice your mental health, just to be a little bit skinnier. You’re fine the way you are and the sooner you realize that the better.”

He was right. I’m back on my daily 5mg and I feel SO much better. I’m still working out and eating better, and I really hope this will work in terms of helping me lose weight, because frankly I really can’t afford to be on half of my prescribed dosage. I felt like a lonely, out of touch with reality, depressed, crazy person, haha.

[BipolaRNurse]

Good for you! You got smart before disaster struck, and you won't make the same mistake again, so the learning experience was probably well worth the discomfort.

FWIW, I'm a registered nurse with almost 20 years' healthcare experience, yet even I don't mess with my psych meds. I have no problem with manipulating my blood pressure and diabetic meds, and especially my water pills so I don't spend ALL day in the bathroom! But the drugs people take to manage bipolar are very powerful, and they can screw up our brains something awful if we don't take them right.....that's why we pay the doctors the big bucks. I have a healthy respect for these meds and at least with this aspect of my life, I do exactly as I'm told by the person who knows more than me. Which is usually NOT the case. LOL

[manicdepressive07]

Thanks for your reply BipolaRNurse!

I created this post earlier today and was literally refreshing the BP forum page all day in hopes someone would reply :/ I guess I need to keep it "short and sweet" haha. I tend to write A LOT... too much sometimes for most people to care to read about

PS: I used to want to be a nurse I actually got my AA in liberal arts: emphasis in biomedical sciences (because I took all the pre-reqs: anatomy, physiology, microbiology, chemistry, etc for nursing). I actually worked at my local hospital all of last year as a unit secretary and absolutely hated it and decided you couldn't pay me enough to be a nurse! The hours were long (12 hour shifts, sometimes back to back!) the staff was lacking, (not enough nurses per patient), you had like a million people to report to (the nurses who patient's call lights I was in charge of, the charge nurse for the day, the director of the dept, the head nurse for the hospital for the day, the CEO, etc) Plus everyone always had a bad attitude... and on top of all that all the nurses would ever do was gossip and complain and gossip and complain till I wanted to explode. "Omg guess what so and so's husband got caught doing" or "Omg I'm so annoyed I didn't sleep last night and why do I have to have this shift" or "Omg you're never going to believe what I heard about dr so and so" or "omg my patient is so whiney and weird".... you get the idea. Sometimes they were very mean to me too... they would act as though I was almost "sub human" than them because I didn't have my ADN. I was never felt as though I was appreciated even though my job was VERY demanding (I would have to call drs, fax papers, receive faxes, file papers, answers the phone, answer call lights, answer the intercom (our unit was locked), call maintenance when equipment wasn't working, call IT when the computer wasn't working, call for lab, send labs, walk patients & get them set up in their room upon arrival, etc etc etc etc etc! AYE, sorry... lol... I'm frustrated just thinking about how much I did for my unit and how crappy they treated me :/ I'm also upset because my experience working in the hospital ruined my dream of being a nurse.

[BipolaRNurse]

I've gotta tell you: nurses do indeed "eat their young". As a group, we are absolutely AWFUL at the social skills......like being nice to the newbies, not talking crap behind each other's backs, helping each other work toward a goal, etc. I'm not sure why it's that way, because I personally do all of these things and more---I was once new, too! But I'm afraid we are driving away potential nurses and turning them off to the profession by behaving the way we do, and in time this will come back to haunt us as the huge Baby Boomer generation floods the healthcare system and more nurses will be needed to care for us.

I'm sorry you had this experience and that it wrecked your desire to become a nurse. You could still be one, if you are strong enough to say No to gossip and meanness and to do things YOUR way. But nursing school and nursing itself are tough, no doubt about it, and not something to be undertaken lightly......I have no regrets about becoming an RN, but I don't advise young people to become nurses anymore because the atmosphere in so many healthcare settings is so toxic.

[comicgeek007]

I learned my lesson about messing with meds without doctor's help...

[middlepath]

ManicDepressive...I started screwing with my meds...decreased just a little, but I am feeling too wired and busy now. I am so glad I read your post. I am going to *try* to be compliant and get stable by waiting to adjust them until I talk to the pdoc. I don't know what got into me. I suddenly questioned wether i really nnnnnneeeeded meds. UGH. I think that may be some hypo talking : ). Back to full dose for me. Thanks for sharing your experience!