I always cringe when I recall some of the embarrassing situations that accompanied past manic episodes. I avoid large family reunions because it hurts to be treated as the black sheep in the family. Bipolar Disorder has dealt a severe blow to my self esteem. I try to fight the hurt and embarrassment by focusing on developing myself...doing regular things that others without BP do, going after my dreams. It's what takes my mind off those bad memories and makes me feel worthwhile. I am also thankful for the support structure I do have.

[Nessa213]

I think many of us deal with this and unfortunately most people that don't have to deal with it really can never understand. The best thing I can do is just forgive myself and move on (we do live extremely "in the moment" that it's not fair to yourself to think so much about what you've done in the past) and hope that the people that really matter are still there when it's all over.

Thanks Nessa213

[LadyShadow]

I avoid large family functions too, only because I am ashamed of what I look like. I don't have any contact with the people I had the mania around, but I would be scared to face them after what I put them through. My immediate family has seen me through my most manic and crazy and have accepted me for everything, so I'm thankful for that.