Sorry, you all must be getting tired of hearing from me!!!!

I know you all must be getting tired of reading my posts by now but this is what is helping to keep my head above ground!! I have always felt totally alone until I came in here and at least now I know I am not the only one that feels certain ways!!! there is so much on my mind and my feelings are so screwed up that I cannot figure them out!! I hate this!!!! its like I am banging my head up against a wall!!! I have so much to deal with but yet I cant shut my brain up long enough to figure anything out!!! I went to my regular dr yesterday and she prescribed me abilify 5mg for one week and then 10mg, but yet I didn't take it today!! Why? Why do I refuse to take meds? I know deep down that I need them but yet I don't want to take meds!!!! my pain dr also gave me .5 mg klonopin to take at bed time to help with the pain and so that I can sleep....I took half of one last night which did not do much good! I don't know, you know I am sitting here and damn I cant get it out of my mind that just ending everything would be so much dam easier than dealing with this physical and mental pain day after day!!!! oh well, this too shall pass, I guess!!!!! once again thankyou for listening and any feedback

If you want to get better, take the pills as prescribed. It may take a few weeks for Abilify to kick in but I don't know. The meds will straighten you out so that you can think. They won't completely heal you, but they help. Try it for 6 months and if it doesnt work there is no harm done. You may have to switch meds to get the right cocktail and this takes an average of two years. Don't give up!

As long as posting on here helps you I don`t think it matters if you risk boring people, but I don`t think that you will bore anyone on here, I have been welcomed and they are genuine, I too think I might be boring, but I`ll risk it!

You may not thank so but it takes a lot of courage to get on here and post your feelings and how your are dealing with your emotions. Everyone fears rejection and the fact you post is a testament to your willingness to continue fighting. Congratulations...

hey sweetie, im not sure why u r so scared to take your pills, if u want to talk to me privately go for it, but u need to do it, there r days I don't want to, but I knw if I don't I will fall apart and I don't want to go back to the bad place and that is where u r at, if I have to I will nag u everyday about it lol hahahhaha

Winkynjr I'm sure you mean a lot to other ppl. Meds is one step to getting better and I swear by mine. It took what seemed forever to get where I'm at, but I have felt relatively normal for some time. I still have days I just seem like I'm going out of my mind, but I believe that is normal for everyone. Therapy helps a lot. Learning coping skills and how to let go does wonders. I use a pill container to help me keep up with taking my meds. It also helps me remember if I have taken it or not . . . lol.
Keep on posting!!!!!

I will PM you later or hopefully catch you in chat! I am basically stayed to myself and feeling as if what is the use!! I am tired, exhausted of this fight! (Lost the will to live) maybe, I don't know!!!

I haven't gotten bored yet. If it helps, keep posting. I know it does make me feel better, the replies teach me something as well.

It's scarey to take medications.. This is just my thought process ...

Sometimes you need medications to help you become stable and then you can learn all the non med ways to improve your life.

I do hope you are feeling better soon.