update 6/10

so a bunch of stuff has happened.

psychologist thinks my manic episode was actually hypo so he's calling it bp2 now. yay?

Little brother had his birthday party yesterday. So loud! I ended up hiding in my room after the first hour and a half. He had fun, though.

Therapy was SO stressful today because we went in depth about my ED and then he had to tell my dad the ins and outs of it because it's a safety issue.

I'm starting to plan a mental health awareness art gallery with some friends.

I sometimes honestly wonder how psychologists/psychiatrists distinguish between mania and hypomania. There was a time in my past where (at least in my highly uneducated opinion) I was clearly manic looking back on it. Fired from my job for a "bad attitude"... 17 credit cards... multiple tens of thousands of dollars in debt. But nope "classic bipolar II" I'm told.

At the same time I guess it doesn't entirely matter if it's I or II, it all sucks. At least that's how I view it. I think the professional's opinion comes into play a lot.

That art gallery sounds like it would be an awesome idea!!

Thanks! I'm working on the first piece now.

The way it was described to me, I wasn't so out of touch with reality that I was proclaiming myself to be Jesus, so it was hypo. Even though I thought I had superpowers (albeit just thinking I could take on anyone that tried to harm me while I was walking alone at night and thinking I no longer had to sleep ever).

This explains a lot. I was really wondering about it but I never pushed it too much.

I mean sure, there was a time when I thought I was psychic or could influence the future. I was convinced for a while that I was related to John Lennon... not sure what that counts for!

bipolar 2 wont be that bad. only once i was truly manic ,at the age 17 but after that i have never experienced mania. for me being bp2, it is always hypomania or depression. but at least i don't make too many bad decisions/behavior like those i made in my first and only manic episode. of course being bp2 means year long depression but there are benefits. it is easier to hide. normally there are no hospitalizations.

You know, I love how much I always end up relating to things in this forum!

I definitely have those days of invincibility and off I go traipsing around super late at night in areas I usually know aren't the best for that... because I figured I was immune to anything bad happening since CLEARLY everyone can tell I'm too confident for that to happen. (First time ever saying that one outloud... sounds a lot nuttier than it ever did in my head!)

Also - while not ever thinking I'm psychic, I do go through periods where I'm pretty sure tarot cards are real (actually have been having a freakout on and off as I can't find my tarot deck.. I'm in a 1-bedroom flat so what did I do with it?!?!) and sometimes am convinced I'm an empath. Normally I am too scientific to believe those.... but sometimes I end up being convinced of it anyway.

(Once I was at a bar, and I wassss very drunk, but I was convinced that I was a dark elf ala R.A.Salvatore.... fortunately I did not feel the need to express this to anyone, but it certainly influenced my behaviour that night!)

Thinking of you. The art gallery sounds wonderful.

Still not depressed, but I feel like crying after another stressful session with my temp T. We talked about my previous sui attempts and in depth about the reasons why I tried. It's still painful.

your new T seems helpful... perhaps you would want to have him instead of your normal T...

I would, except I go to college much too far away to see him.