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#26
Aug 06, 2013, 08:56 AM
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OKay...I just found the first post I made. Please excuse the newbie not seeing something.
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#27
Aug 06, 2013, 09:02 AM
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absolutely what Muppy said, Speed!!!!!!!
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 Speed3
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#28
Aug 06, 2013, 10:59 AM
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It takes two to tango. Just straight out ask your husband if he still wants you in his life. Then you'll have your answer and you can act accordingly. Sometimes a break is good. It allows both of you to get your heads right. Other times, a break is the beginning of the end.
Grief counseling may be good, but only if it makes him realize that he is taking it out on you. I hope things get better for you. |
| Speed3
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#29
Aug 06, 2013, 12:30 PM
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speed, everyone handles grief differently and his anger might be a stage of his grief over Jason. Would he accept that and go for counseling?
Reading about the five stages of grief theory by Kubler-Ross might help. |
| Speed3, thunderbear
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#30
Aug 06, 2013, 01:14 PM
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Sounds silly, but what if you printed off a page with basic bulleted points (minimal text if possible) about the symptoms of someone going through the grief process. Ask him when you sit down and when he is peaceful to just take 2 min of his time and commit to reading the sheet. If he identifies with the points on the sheet, then he is self-aware enough to go to step 2: letting him know you are feeling the same way and would like to work TOGETHER to address the despair. Let him know you already have a possible plan (therapist) and you just need him to agree to participate just once and then he can reassess. Step 3: ongoing therapy IF he will agree to it. He needs to know he is committing his whole life to therapy and open wounds first, that is why I would try to get him to go just once and see if he is ok with it. baby steps?
__________________
"My favorite pastime edge stretching" Alanis Morissette 
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| Speed3
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#31
Aug 06, 2013, 01:16 PM
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he agreed to go to counseling with me.
__________________
 JASON 8/17/1985 to 1/03/2013 I miss you sweetheart |
 BlueInanna, H3rmit, middlepath, wing
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| BlueInanna, H3rmit
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#32
Aug 06, 2013, 01:44 PM
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Good news!
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| H3rmit, Speed3
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#33
Aug 06, 2013, 05:57 PM
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so glad to hear that Speed.
__________________
"My favorite pastime edge stretching" Alanis Morissette
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| H3rmit, Speed3
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#34
Aug 06, 2013, 08:18 PM
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Excellent news Speed!!
__________________
"The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things. Of shoes, of ships, of sealing wax, of cabbages, of kings! Of why the sea is boiling hot, of whether pigs have wings..." "I have a problem with low self-esteem. Which is really ridiculous when you consider how amazing I am. |
| Speed3
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#35
Aug 07, 2013, 12:42 AM
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That sounds like progress, Speed.
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| Speed3
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#36
Aug 07, 2013, 01:02 AM
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What are some activities that you and your husband used to enjoy? Eating out? Movies? A picnic?
It does sound as though your husband may be in the anger stage of grief right now. That is okay but that doesn't excuse not respecting you. Good luck with your therapy.
__________________
The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well. anonymous |
| Speed3
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#37
Aug 09, 2013, 04:10 PM
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He's willing to see a counselor? Wow! He does have insight into his behavior. Let's hope he learns to work thru his grief issues.
I have heard that about marriages, speed, I sure hope yours survives. |
| Speed3
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#38
Aug 09, 2013, 07:20 PM
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Ahhhhh ~ Hallelujah ~ So glad he'll go to counseling with you, major healing potential!
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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