Progress again

Today was a total crisis. Had to take my husband to the ER for pain again. I hate hospitals and i've been so depressed lately that I just shut down. Dissociated badly for the first time in months. I didn't feel real at all. I screamed at my toddler because he threw a ridiculous tantrum and I felt horrible. I was ready to call the crisis line and have them call me an ambulance before I hurt myself badly. I had the knife out and everything (hubby was out helping a cousin after the pain meds kicked in). But I managed to stop. I did distress tolerance skills of taking a cold shower and intensely exercising. I watched a movie and read Harry potter.

Now I'm still energetic but not in crisis any more. I'm so proud of myself. This is the second crisis I've made it through using DBT skills.

If I could just kick this depression. I'm trying so hard not to let it ruin me.

Counting down the days till I can start work again...whoever though I would be excited for a school year to begin? Definitely not my teenage self lol.

I hope tonight finds you all well.

wildflower: I'm glad you managed to overcome those urges!!

I always look forward to the end of summer too. It like to change things up.

Hi Wildflower.

I am bipolar 1 as well. I suffered full blown mania before I seek help. After recovering from that (using Zyprexa) I went back to work.

I was on Abilify, Zyprexa, and Celexa for a short period of time (probably 6 months at most).

Abilify did nothing to reduce my depression. I'm not sure if Zyprexa would do much better for depression but it did slow me down enough that's for sure. My feeling is that it would do a better job than Abilify. Abilify just made me jittery and did not work as a mood stabilzer even though its marketed as such.

I would consider Zyprexa if you are suicidal over Abilify. It worked for me.

However, I would not consider Abilify a maintenance med for bipolar no matter the advertizing campaign saying it works great for depression. I think its a new medication that has not been proven out at all.

Thanks for the info! I'm getting off abilify anyway because I can't afford it (600$ until I reach my deductible - ) the dr is starting me on trileptal and I am tapering off the Effexor so we'll see how it goes. I'm scared about zyprexa because of weight gain though. I've already gained ten pounds through crappy eating habits that I'm trying to lose.

Wild

I am so sorry to read you had all that going on, But look at you !!! You are coping and kicking it's a.s.s Everytime to push through these kind of things your building new positive reactions which will help you each time you are up against the hell of Bipolar.

Be proud ... be very very proud

Wow, good for you! Hopefully, with time, each time a really stressful situation like this occurs, it will get easier and easier, and more natural, to find ways to not get overwhelmed. This is really great!

That is so awesome you were able to cope right in the thick of things! Great job! I only wish I could do the same, especially when road raging

I hope the new meds help more with the depression, being down is the toughest part for me, too.