I'm doing the best I can trying all kinds of things to get my moods stabilized I'm trying so hard I feel so alone and worthless my husband has basically given up trying he doesn't even sleep in the same bed as me anymore takes a sleeping pill and goes to sleep then gets up for work I put the baby to bed and I sleep next to my son while he's in his crib how do you stay married if your bipolar especially to a guy who has lost hope in you and doesn't even notice you I've asked him to sleep with me and he says its to hot in here and stuff isn't marrried ppl supposed to sleep in the same bed we've been going to marriage counciling and I've been taking my meds reading books on bipolar watching movies inspirational and uplifting I feel so alone I've tried praying I'm just so worn out over bipolar I hate it it never ends I need my husband more than ever and he seems so distant why am I even married everything is being so ruined I'm so depressed I just want this bipolar to leave me i can't live like this everyday I may need to leave my husband it might be the best for both of us I just am all or of ideas and choices here I'm so sad..

[Crazy Hitch]

Sky101,

It's really hard, managing yourself, your own well being, day to day functioning, stability, relationships, relationships with your husband and you're going through an episode. It makes it ALL seem overwhealming. When I'm like this even the thought of showering can appear too much in my mind.

I am sorry your marriage is under strain. It's not a good place to be in.

He's struggling I think. Because he loves you and cares about you and deep down inside it worries him that you are unwell. He can't "fix" you.

But you two can work on this.

I'm glad you're going to marriage counselling.

This is good.

Your mood phase won't last.

You need mental stability above all else.

Your brain chemicals are causing this negativity and these thoughts. It's awful. I've been there.

Please work closely with your pdoc.

We're here for you.

[lacerta]

I think that most of marriages have very fought times after the baby is born. Nights with disturbed or little sleep. Try to manage some rest time for yourself, sleep during daytime with your baby, keep looking for a good med combo. I really thought my marriage is ruined when my baby was around 3 month old, it was really hard to talk to my husband. Only later I realised that baby was a huge distress for him as well. Now 2 years later we little by little start to rebuild or relationship. Try to see little positive things that your husband does - cooking, or shopping or anything that would make your life even more difficult if you were alone.

We're having problems financially he bought a car and shouldn't of bc we don't have the money for it all now when I try to by anything groceries things for baby I get yelled at now I'm scared to get anything

[Crazy Hitch]

Financial troubles certainly do add to the strain. I'm sorry to hear this.

(Sky101)

I've fallen down the rabbit hole.. Plus we live in a depressing town with nothing to do in away from family and friends and can't buy anything for myself or do anything for myself to get away from all the stress the baby adds I can't even buy toilet paper and baby food and stuff without getting yelled at like that's necestites and now I'm scared to get anything

The best thing I got going is walking in the park in feeling the warmth of the sun on my skin while I stroll the baby around we have no money to do anything.. And we are supposed to try and move bc I am so unhappy here and told my husband so many times but we haven't saved a dime bc of bills so I feel so hopeless I know I should try and be positive but idk how bc my son is what keeps me going everyday... That is all.

I just feel like I'm in a box.. I'm kept away.. And unloved everyday.

I'm so sorry hun, life is such a huge trigger. It's hard dealing with it, especially with bipolar mood swings. I can hear the strain of it all in your words. Only thing that should matter to you is you and your baby. I've got a few choice words for a man that wants to behave like that, but I'll keep that to myself for now. Having bipolar is not your fault. There are government programs, especially for women and babies. Not knowing where you are at, but in the US, just go down to the DHS and get a case worker that starts working for you.
You are not as trapped as you think. You are stronger than you think. Always do what's best for baby.

Please hang in there and I hope your mood lifts soon so that you can make some real hard decisions.

[Crazy Hitch]

Please do something to distract yourself.

I think a walk in the park with some fresh air will be good for you.

[wlta23]

It is the story i am going through but not have enough resorces as you have

[avlady]

i agree with everyone especially hooligan and always changing, you're walking on eggshells,that happened to me my sons father would not lift a finger to help me take care of my son. needless to say i had to leave him he was not good for me to be around and would only buy the necessities and i would even have to worry about toilet paper. we didn't have muh money, but got by by a sliver. i couldn't take it anymore as he started to get really abusive over time i had to leave him.now i have a great husband who helps me with everything. i guess i got lucky in the end. this too shall pass, but i also have several mental disorders and do have bad days but i think everyone does even people who are not mentally ill like me. i wissh you luck and maybe you might want to look into a womans shlter or group.

Thanks everyone if it doesn't snow today like it's supposed to I am gonna try and take my son the look at the pets in the pet store or go to the park like yesterday thanks for all the support it really helps having ppl who listen and care