[KAnne1989]

Hi, guys. I'm new here, to this site, anyhow. I'm a 23-year old mother of one, who is 3 years of age.

I'm here because I've been contemplating something the last several months. As a teenager, around 14, I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder, moderate depression, anorexia/BDD, and OCD. Two years ago, I was diagnosed with PTSD as well (which I know I do have, due to separate traumatic events that happened to me).

The point being, in the 6-8 months, I've really begun to notice a change in my symptoms. I have periods of 12 hours to 3 days where I'm in a great mood, have a ton of energy, clean constantly, want to talk alot. That's rarely, a couple of times a month. I sleep little to none at all, and my mind runs constantly about anything and everything. Nothing I do can slow it down except trying valium or klonopin and even then, it doesn't stop. barely puts a dent in it.

About 50% of the time, I just feel apathetic about everything, where I truly don't care about anything but my son. I take him out to do things but I'm not really "there." I smile, laugh, etc, but none of it's real. And the depression part of it worsens in the afternoon and evenings.

About the other 30% of the time, it's all day long. I feel completely worthless, like I don't deserve anything good or anything but bad. Like my son is literally the only thing that keeps me from doing something stupid to myself to just stop everything. I never would, for his sake, but I think about different ways I would if I didn't have him to keep me here. It gets really bad. I have no energy, severely depressed, anti-social, and either get extremely irritable and angry OR just silent and withdrawn altogether.

The insomnia/constant obsessive thinking happens during this phase too, normally in a very negative fashion. Alot of self hatred, disgust, etc.

These energetic episodes always follow the extreme lows then the middle ground comes before I hit the lows again. It never fails.

I just don't know if I might have somehow either had my GAD/depression/OCD transition into bipolar...if I was misdiagnosed as a teenager. I'm not sure anymore.

[gayleggg]

Hi KAnne1989. Welcome to Psych Central. Certainly sounds like something is going on, however, we are not professional and can't diagnos. I hope you seek professional help in figuring this out. It does sound like you are cycling but I wouldn't know why. Worth checking into.
Gayle

[middlepath]

Anytime symptoms pop up that are uncomfortably disruptive to your life, it is time to let someone know. I think you should review your symptoms with a pdoc. I have anxiety disorder NOS, formerly GAD/Depression that is bipolar now. Same crap, different label : ). The only thing is that the only meds that have ever helped have been lithium and benzos....which makes a ton of sense now.

[KAnne1989]

I had been on lexapro and my anxiety and irritation got so much worse... Now that I've stopped taking them, I'm dealing with increase of this cycling between much more often. I'm working on getting into a psychologist to talk this through.

[KAnne1989]

I had been on lexapro bc we believed it was simply anxiety and depression but my anger and depression levels just skyrocketed so I've taken myself off of it. And now I'm dealing with the emotional part of making that choice, the unpredictability of my moods. It's so different from dealing with GAD and depression all these years... It's so scary. And Idk what to think or how to deal. It's not like ne to get so irritated and angry at almost nothing faster than I can realize it and stop it.