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#1
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Does anyone ever have a great day and then feel guilty and down for having felt happy during the day? That's my problem all the time I feel so guilty I feel I don't deserve it or that something will go wrong because of it , and sometimes things go wrong and I associate it with my happiness which is why I have a happy meter sort of speak, so when I feel myself too happy I tone it down and I know this is weird . I'm wondering if its rare to feel this way?
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Bipolar 1 Gad Ptsd BPD ZOLOFT 100 TOPAMAX 400 ABILIFY 10 SYNTHROID 137 |
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#2
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HA! I totally feel like that sometimes. When I get to a point where I'm feeling actually happy with life... it almost always gets sabotaged by me wondering when on earth it's going to go away this time and get super sad about the fact that it's going to go away. This usually continues until I trigger myself into a depression, because I don't think that I deserve to be happy.
But then I also have sort of an opposite situation too: I'll wake up depressed, I'll go out and have a relatively fine day, but the MOMENT I'm not occupied... the depression floods right back in. But I'm pretty good at pushing it away if I'm doing things.
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"The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things. Of shoes, of ships, of sealing wax, of cabbages, of kings! Of why the sea is boiling hot, of whether pigs have wings..." "I have a problem with low self-esteem. Which is really ridiculous when you consider how amazing I am. |
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#3
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I am totally like this. Usually my mother will do something to bring me down, then it takes me 3 months to get back up. I'm not making much progress in life.
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![]() sweepy62
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#4
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Thanks so much for replying I thought it was so wierd of me to sabotage myself but its just the way I feel I can say I am afraid to be happy.
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Bipolar 1 Gad Ptsd BPD ZOLOFT 100 TOPAMAX 400 ABILIFY 10 SYNTHROID 137 |
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#5
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I could have wrote that myself, fyi!
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"The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things. Of shoes, of ships, of sealing wax, of cabbages, of kings! Of why the sea is boiling hot, of whether pigs have wings..." "I have a problem with low self-esteem. Which is really ridiculous when you consider how amazing I am. |
#6
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sorry did I think I wrote that twice
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Bipolar 1 Gad Ptsd BPD ZOLOFT 100 TOPAMAX 400 ABILIFY 10 SYNTHROID 137 |
#7
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No no sweepey, I mean that what you said fits PERFECTLY with my own mindset.
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"The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things. Of shoes, of ships, of sealing wax, of cabbages, of kings! Of why the sea is boiling hot, of whether pigs have wings..." "I have a problem with low self-esteem. Which is really ridiculous when you consider how amazing I am. |
#8
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oh lol ok my bad
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Bipolar 1 Gad Ptsd BPD ZOLOFT 100 TOPAMAX 400 ABILIFY 10 SYNTHROID 137 |
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#9
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Quote:
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Current Dx- Bipolar I w/ psychotic features - Borderline Personality Disorder Current Rx- 15mg Olanzapine, 50mg Trazodone 2x day, 200mg at night, 300mg Bupropion XR, Prozac 20mg Previous Dx- paranoid schizophrenia, schizoaffective bipolar disorder Previous Rx- Depakote, Seroquel, Risperidone |
#10
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I think everyone is guilty of this at some point .. I have done it many a time. I finally got fed up of ruining yesterdays good mood by over thinking today lousy mood.
Enjoy the hell out of great days , accept the bad times but use your coping skills ten fold to try and minimize a lousy day .. A lousy day does not always mean your headed for a depressive hell. <~~ That I think is a hard thing to rationalize or at least it has been for me. Everyone have lousy days . My MI free husband was in a great mood yesterday, today he is a grumpy a.s.s .. no real reason he just is . Just try to stay in the moment ... Mindfulness is so helpful, Yes I post alot about it ... Because it works ![]()
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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#11
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Not guilty, I feel worried. Because I know the better I feel, the more elevated I get, the harder the fall will be when I do fall.
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Follow me on Twitter @PsychoManiaNews |
#12
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Hi,
With my latest rise and fall, I've curtailed most of my pursuit of goals to take a clear eyed look at just how these swings work and how I might heal myself of having them. I guess this thread prompts me to post my own on success-triggered mania. Not every success leads to my mania, as this table show: Group or team success — no mania success @ work — no mania success with project with partner — chance of mania success at a private, personal goal — high chance of mania While manic, I wing myself away from safety thinking and grounding in what is going on inside and outside of me. Then some mistake, breakage, or fall happens and boom! Crash! and then it's a long, long time to recover even normalcy. Then to repair the damage if possible. Lots of doubts during this recovery time, with frustrated sense that I will never get free of this pattern. Revu2, Seattle |
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#13
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Quote:
__________________
Bipolar 1 Gad Ptsd BPD ZOLOFT 100 TOPAMAX 400 ABILIFY 10 SYNTHROID 137 |
#14
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Quote:
__________________
Current Dx- Bipolar I w/ psychotic features - Borderline Personality Disorder Current Rx- 15mg Olanzapine, 50mg Trazodone 2x day, 200mg at night, 300mg Bupropion XR, Prozac 20mg Previous Dx- paranoid schizophrenia, schizoaffective bipolar disorder Previous Rx- Depakote, Seroquel, Risperidone |
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