Starting work tomorrow - terrified!

Since I'm a teacher I've been out of work since June. I had a summer job but depression won out and I had to quit. I haven't worked since July 1st. I am starting back tomorrow. I was supposed to be there last week but was hospitalized so I didn't make it. Now I only have one day to prepare my classroom as opposed to four.

I guess I'm really just scared to face the judgment again. Last year I got nothing but s*** from the other teachers. Admin backed me but it didn't stop them from trying to throw me under the bus every chance they got. I'm so afraid I'm not strong enough to fend off their attacks this year. I'm afraid the stress will cause another episode even though I believe I have finally found the right medication.

I know I should not speculate on the future. I should do some mindfulness meditation. That will stop me from jumping into the future.

The only thing worse than going back would be to not go back. My doctor from inpatient and from my new IOP both recommended I go out on temporary disability but I will be more of a mess if I do that because I won't have anything to do all day AND have added stress of financial problems. So I guess I better face the music as it were and return.

I just hope they all leave me alone this year. Hey, a girl can dream, right?

Mindfulness meditation, here I come.

I go back tomorrow too. I imploded and walked away from teaching for awhile until I can get my s*** together so I am going to be an IA for a bit...way less stress, but I no longer drive the ship, which will pose a new sort of stress, i guess. Im in it with ya...I hope your day goes ok tomorrow. here's some luck for ya ---- LUCK. Now send some my way please, I will need it too : ).

Tomorrow for me too. No kids tomorrow though, it's an admin day for us.

Which lucks out for me, because I have my pdoc appointment in the afternoon.

I'm sorry that your coworkers have been making work **** for you What all do your coworkers say and do?

Just keep yourself in your classroom. You don't really have to go anywhere else except outside for duty, and to the washroom. Just hide out in your room if you're not feeling up to dealing with your coworkers - it's not like we're EVER shy of work to do!

You would like to think that at a certain age you shouldnt have to deal with such crap. It really is too bad that you work with those types of people. It does sound like you have some support though. I went through a IOP two months ago and because of it I could only work three days a week. As helpful as it was, lack of money started to stress me out. Sounds like your trying to have the right attitude. Dont allow those people to have such an effect on you. Good luck.

Hugs and good wishes to all you teachers out there. No way in the world could I ever do your job. I haven't got either the tact or patience for it. Kudos to you for having the courage to even step foot in the classroom, let alone teach. All the best to you when school starts.

I understand how you feel. It is never easy. Sometimes thinking about it for a while is worse than walking through those doors...My thoughts and prayers are with you!!!

Last year they went to admin about how I "couldn't control my kids" because the students would start fights in their classrooms, not mine (which they did because they didn't want to tear up my class but disliked the other teachers so didn't care about wrecking their things). They did this more than a few times. Eventually admin told them to stuff it (more or less) because they observed me and saw I was doing the behavioral model correctly. But it didn't stop them from talking about me behind my back. However, at the end of the year they started going after each other and leaving me alone. But I had classroom aides getting in on it and treating me like crap for not picking on every little thing the students said/did and giving them discipline for it. Unfortunately that's just not how I roll. I'm very laid back and easygoing which some people mistake for naïveté.

I stay in my room most of the time for this reason. But hey took my social worker away and put her in the room next door so I feel my only "ally" is now gone. I know she's just a doorway down but still.

Hopefully they will be too busy attacking each other this year to bother me. Or better yet maybe I have earned my badge now because I'm not a new teacher anymore. They kept acting all patronizing last year because they assumed I just didn't know how to do anything because it was my first year teaching. Nice people.

I know it will all be ok. Thank you for all your encouragement!

I hope you have a wonderful day tomorrow. Doing a job that you enjoy truly is a gift. Try to focus on the part of the job you enjoy and forget about those miserable people who have nothing better today than try to hurt you.

Post about how it goes.

Ok fellow teachers!!!

I want at least one funny story from the first day. (The kids here don't come to school until Wendesday, tomorrow's an admin day). Or a cute story or something really nice about the kids. Okies? Let's focus on the positives instead of all the paranoias (I get the most ridiculous back to school nightmares)

All my admiration to you all for being able to go in the classroom and take on the awesome job of teaching. I hope you have a wonderful day!

Wow. You all deserve our admiration and respect. Your jobs are so important. I will be thinking of all of you and wishing you the best. Thank you for what you do. I am sorry that I am not better with words because you deserve so much more.

Nobodyandnothing

I am not a teacjer but a cafeteria worker. A kingergarden girl gave me a picture she had colored from a comic book. She gave me a picture of this creature with a green head and said that I was her hero. Wow. Even a lady giving out forks and napkins and opening packages like soup, sandwiches, crackers, chips, yogurt and drinks looks like a hero in the eyes of one little girl. This one act makes it easier to go to work the next day on the chance that a child will again give me the reassurance to continue

Wishing all of you the best!

I attached a pic for the teachers returning to work, hope it visible? not too sure how to do this with a phone

Goodluck! I hope all goes well for you.

I'm wishing the best for all you teachers. You are amazing !!

I'm sorry nobodyandnothing - I didn't mean to exclude you. Anybody who works with our kids and grandkids is totally awesome.
I remember the school janitor at my high school. He was the most amazing guy. Everybody loved him. There were a lot of former students at his funeral when he died.
We weren't a big enough school to have a cafeteria, but you are awesome too !!

To all you teachers, I think what you do is so wonderful.

Wild, I hope all goes well for you. I know you have been having a rough time. I think you are so brave and strong.

I know your students must love you, think about them. The other teachers can go F..... Themselves. Excuse my French.

Well I'm thinking of all you teachers today My daughter starts her teaching career today. I was concerned about the kids giving her trouble. Never occurred to me to be concerned about the other teachers!

How was everyone's first day?

I so feel for you. I am excited for you that you took the job. Once you show up all will start to feel better. I will remember to keep you in my prayers. I just know it'll be awesome.

Wondering how things are going wildflowerchild? You're probably busy

Alright fellow teachers!! The first week is done and over. I demand a silly story!

I had one of my students inform me today, while were playing Two Truths and a Lie (where you say two true things about yourself and one lie, and everyone has to guess which is the lie)... one of my students goes "I already knew you had that tattoo, I saw a picture of it".

Me: "how?!"
Him: "My brother showed me" (his brother was my student last year)
Me: Who do you know on my facebook?! (thinking that maybe I somehow had someone they spent time with)
Him: No one, my brother showed me!
Me:............ OH YEAH! It was my profile picture! YOU STINKERS WERE SPYING ON ME?!?!?! ((I was laughing, I don't care if they look at my profile picture because it's always something that I'm ok with others seeing))

Hmmm funny story....I don't think anything exceptionally funny happened. Except my student think I'm blind to popcorn and other projectiles making it across the classroom! The culprit was shocked when I caught him every single time. Other than that I think I have a good bunch this year in my homeroom. I can see two that will probably make it to level three within a month or two.

Thanks otter, I'm doing ok. The new lesson plans will probably be the death of me though. They are so loooong! Take forever compared to the old ones. But I was right - the one teacher who gave me $hit last year seems to be being extra nice to me. I bet she heard the rumor that I tried to kill myself. Thank goodness for small favors I guess. The other one has her b!tch face on every day but I just minimize contact with her. Problem solved lol.

Glad you're able to work around it. Why do people have to be mean?