I can't go through this again.

I was diagnosed as bi-polar II about five years ago. I was misdiagnosed as plain ol' depressive for about 5 years before that. I was rapid cycling after a particularly stupid prescription of antidepressants, and crashed good and hard. Then I was on lithium for a couple of years, and I guess it worked but I hated hated hated hated hated it. It took everything away from me that made me me, and I don't like the person I'm left with.

So, I've been relatively stable for three years until a few weeks ago. I've been sliding down and now I'm sliding faster.

I feel empty and desperate. I can't see a way forward. I hate the sound of my voice, I hate my reflection. I haven't left the house in days.

Please try to contact your pdoc or seek a new one, there are alternative meds that can help you.
Lithium is a great drug, but if you are more inclined to the depressive end vs the manic end, you may require an AD in adjunct or switch to different med.
But don't be consumed by the depression, there is help to get out of it or minimize it.
In my case, Lamictal was what I changed to, I am BP-II also and had been misdiagnosed as having clinical depression, so for a few yrs I was not getting proper treatment, which I partly blame seeing a GP vs a PDoc, GP's are not qualified to substitute for a Psychiatrist.
Try not to put off seeking professional help, things can work out. I've been there, and can relate to your post, as well as many who come to this forum.
Please take care,
DE