[wthbipolar]

I am not sure what to write but I guess I just need help! Well here goes nothing.....

I have been married for 14 years and have 2 amazing kids 14 and 10. I had a very difficult childhood. I was the youngest of 7, yours mine and ours household. 3 of 4 sisters diagnosed bipolar. Don't remember most of my childhood, but when I was 14 I was raped and that's when I started acting different. I met my husband at 16 and was married and expecting when I was 17. I knew he was the one from the moment I met him. All I ever wanted in life was to be a great mother and wife.

Went through a lot the first several years with my husbands addiction to porn. When I was 25 I had a full hysterectomy. Things went crazy in my body and brain. So I was depressed for a long time but then went manic. I had a 1 night stand with a co-worker.

Next about a year and a half later I had a couple time fling. Not long after that another couple night fling. My husband didn't know. Starting this summer I met someone through a friend and began chatting and immediately it became physical. The last thing I ever wanted was to cheat, I love my family!!!!!!!!

This one was different, it was all summer. "I" finally broke through about a month after my husband found text messages between us. My best friend had helped cover and was very toxic I now know. The whole time I was with this person I felt like I was seeing what was happening but not being able to control anything I said or did, same as the other times. I acted totally out of control. I was calling in so I could spend more time and eventually got fired. Even after I got fired I continued going in to "work" for another four weeks so I could keep seeing him.

So I am dealing with it now with my husband but can barely remember anything that happened. I was diagnosed bipolar not long after the cat was out of the bag........

Please I need advice or just to know someone else experienced something like this would be good.

[Victoria'smom]

So your husband knows about the affairs? If you have the money you should get a marriage Therapist and an individual therapist for each family member. I don't see why you need to remember. Do daily little things for your husband to show him you care. Texted him while at lunch. You have to individually have to deal with your bipolar, issues and remorse. He has to individually deal with his issues, anger and learning to support your bipolar and you have to deal with it together.

[bipolarLady7]

A marriage therapist sounds like a great idea Miguel'smom. I have had this problem to a different degree earlier in my marriage. Asking God for help and following what my priest said helped the most (after Confession). We humans are so weak and all things are possible with God. Confide in your husband and talk to him every day, and maybe journal about the things you love about your husband.

[Skittles56]

Sounds very similar to my last mania. Bipolar is how it happened, but the why is all you. I told my family about being bipolar, but I owned up to most of the bad stuff I did. I spared them some of it because it wouldn't have done anything but cause more hurt. They forgave me and let me come back. My advice to you is to do the same. Regardless of being bipolar, you have to own what you did. Get help and stop the spiral. Your family is your family. They will be glad to have you back and they will forgive you.