looking for some insight

I don't want to sound silly...

I don't have a therapist or anything, I know I should talk to someone but I am about as broke as can be right now... I can't even keep gas in my car...

I've taken a couple quizzes and people have mentioned that it's possible I have bipolar disorder. The quiz on this site gave me a 47 (moderate to sever symptoms)

I don't really know what I'm asking, I guess I'm just looking for some insight from people, anything would be appreciated...

(If you're looking for my full story I wrote it in a thread called "Hey there all" in the introductions forum... I don't know if that helps...)

Thanks

I understand not having money or health insurance. Not sure where you are from but check into free clinics or even clinics that offer slide fees which is based on income. Sometimes you only have to pay 10.00 sometimes it's even free depending on your household income. Also, while an internet test may have validity, you definitely the opinion of a psychiatrist or a therapist. Like you I couldn't afford anything and had no insurance and then I went and don't have to pay anything! Thank goodness and I'm so glad I got the help I needed I couldn't suffer anymore

I looked at your intro post and I really feel if you live in US you need to go to county mental health tomorrow. You can find the address online. I know you don't have gas but this is effecting your life greatly, I know you have a lot of anxiety issues but you need to find someone to bring you. Even if you have to go negative. You've had a very crappy month and are having at least vaguely passing suicidal thoughts. Your paranoid and may have an eating disorder. If you end up needing stitches from self-harm you may not have the option to be in control of your healthcare.

There's always a way to find some healthcare - the above suggestions are really good.

In the meantime - you can work on self-care. By that, I mean you can work towards changing and resisting your behaviours. Self-harm or an Eating Disorder are going to cause you BIG bills in health care further on if you don't figure out how else to cope.

If you think you might have bipolar (I didn't notice any mention of ups?) then you should keep a mood log. And try the opposite-action thing - if you're depressed and don't want to leave the house... leave the house. If you're not wanting to eat when you feel hungry... eat something like some fresh veg.

Also, don't trust online quizzes. They'll always diagnose you with something or another!

Just spend some time reading online about different ways to help cope - with depression, anxiety, etc. There's a lot of resources out there that are totally free and will hopefully help you out a bit while you go about getting yourself some help!

I do have ups, I wake up and feel great sometimes, but then somewhere along the line (whether its the same day, the next morning, or even a couple days sometimes...) I hit a wall....

I am trying to find somewhere to go... I'm a bit afraid to talk to someone professional though... but I know I should...

It sounds like you have a lot of stress in your life right now, I am so sorry to hear it.

Do you feel like you are in crisis?

I struggled on my own for years, tried to find help and ran up against walls. Finally, it got to be too much and I ended up in the emergency room. I was admitted to a Partial Hospital Program the next day.

The Partial got me on the right path. I got the same care you get inpatient but went home at night and on weekends. A lot of people don't even know that this level of care exists. It was great! Three weeks later I was doing much better than I ever would have thought. The Partial helped me set up follow up care a a local health center with a therapist and a doctor.

I'm not saying this is the for sure way to go for everybody, but if you are having a really hard time, feeling really hopeless or feel like you are in danger, a hospital that has on site psychiatric services the might be able to help you in the ER.

I'm not sure what state you live in or what your situation is, but the healthcare exchanges do open tomorrow. If its not an emergency, maybe you can hook up with some sort of insurance soon.

Hang in there, it'll get better.