[bluesparrow]

I have been officially diagnosed for years but my husband doesn't agree with meds and therapy. He's come a long way and let's me take meds, but he hates it. His answer is always religion. I'm okay with that, but I really feel I still need the meds and I really need therapy. This is getting pretty dangerous. He tries to be supportive but I don't think he really gets it. I don't know what to do. I don't feel like I have much of a say. I have tried leaving him for years. It is taking more of a toll on me than he will ever realize. I just want to function. I would like to be truly happy and be able to be myself, but I will settle for giving my family a normal life. Thanks for listening.

sounds like a really tough situation. Now I dont mean to encourage lies in a relationship but is there any way you can go to therapy without his knowledge? It really is important and helpful to have therapy. Or is there a chaplin or church type person that may be able to talk to you?

There are also some therapy courses online such as CBT, they are free and easy to access. Maybe you could delete your browser history after doing them? What about self-help books? Some are actually helpful but they might be hard to hide. Just some ideas for you

[Skittles56]

I'm having trouble with "he lets me take meds, but he hates it."

There probably wasn't anything in your marriage vows about him owning you outright. He has a problem. It sounds like he is supportive as long as it is on his own terms. That's selfish and narcissistic.

I can't possibly know more about your situation than what you have posted here, but I think you really have to take a stand. Let him know your feelings. All of them. Tell him that if he can't get on board and start helping you instead of trying to control you then then you will have to leave. The fact that you haven't left means you still have hope of getting it straightened out. I hope you can.

Just my $0.02.

[BipolaRNurse]

Wow. I'll never get mad at my husband again for nagging me about taking my meds. He knows all too well what a hot mess I am without 'em.

I don't know you, hon, but I can tell you right off that man of yours has got way too much control over you. This is YOUR mind, YOUR illness, YOUR life we're talking about here....not his. He doesn't own you, you are not a piece of property that he can manipulate in any way he feels like it.

Wow. I'm viscerally angry at the very idea that a man can get away with that in the 21st Century. Do what you have to in order to get out from under his thumb! Take care of YOU for a change!

[dubblemonkey]

hey I'm not to good for advice right now but....

I am so sorry for what you are going through.

[bluesparrow]

Thanks everyone for your support. I think his main problem with therapy is that when I was going my therapist said I had to get out of this relationship or I would never be mentally healthy. I quit that day and never went back. He can be very controlling and manipulating but I know he loves me. I wish he could take classes on it or something. I think if he truly understood the illness it might be easier.

[BipolaRNurse]

Honey, he can't understand it. No one who doesn't suffer from a mental illness can possibly understand what we go through. But he COULD learn about it, he COULD talk with your therapist/psychiatrist, and he COULD get out of the way so that you can heal.

FWIW, I have faith in God too---a lot of it, or I couldn't have made it this far in life---but I also believe He works through the scientists who invent the medications that enable us to live our best lives. I believe He works through doctors and therapists too, as well as support groups like this one that are made up of everyday people who go through many of the same things we do. Your husband's view of God is very narrow and closed-minded IMHO.

[bluesparrow]

I feel the same way you do that God works through doctors and medicine, and of course others to help along the way.