 |
| FAQ/Help |
| Calendar |
| Search |
|
#1
Oct 08, 2013, 10:27 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Today sucks. I'm falling back into a depression, despite the anti-depressant meds and all I really want to do is crawl into bed and sleep for the rest of my life. I hate my job and the more work they pile on, the more stressed I get. My meds make me sleepy and slow and I feel like a zombie. I have to do a lot of driving for work and I wonder when the day will be when I fall asleep behind the wheel and kill myself. I can't quit my meds and I can't quit my job.
I keep having daydreams about killing myself. The relief of not having to deal with myself on a daily basis is the basis of these daydreams. The thought of ending this rollercoaster ride is so appealing. The more I think about it though, the guiltier I feel for thinking these thoughts. It's selfish. I feel like I've failed my family for being such a burden and I don't know how to stop it.  
__________________
[COLOR="DeepSkyBlue"][FONT="Century Gothic"]Dx: Bipolar II w/mixed episodes, PTSD, Anxiety Disorder, Insomnia Rx: Lamictal 100mg, Zoloft 75mg, Klonopin 0.5mg x1 /0.25 PRN “Insanity is knowing that what you're doing is completely idiotic, but still, somehow, you just can't stop it.” ― Elizabeth Wurtzel, Prozac Nation |
 Andysmom, Anonymous200280, BlueInanna, Blue_Bird, medicalfox, ~Christina
|
|
#2
Oct 08, 2013, 10:43 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Are you titrating up on lamictal? 50mg is pretty low. Call your dr tomorrow, you dont have to suffer these feelings, make him/her help you. I'm guessing there's not a way to ask for some temporary part time hrs til you feel better? I'm sorry things are so tough right now.
|
|
#3
Oct 08, 2013, 10:56 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
She kept my lamictal the same because I was pretty stable between visits. I see her again on the 25th, but I might call her tomorrow. I just hate to bother her between visits.
__________________
[COLOR="DeepSkyBlue"][FONT="Century Gothic"]Dx: Bipolar II w/mixed episodes, PTSD, Anxiety Disorder, Insomnia Rx: Lamictal 100mg, Zoloft 75mg, Klonopin 0.5mg x1 /0.25 PRN “Insanity is knowing that what you're doing is completely idiotic, but still, somehow, you just can't stop it.” ― Elizabeth Wurtzel, Prozac Nation |
|
#4
Oct 08, 2013, 10:59 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Thats her job, thats why she gets paid the big bucks
|
|
#5
Oct 08, 2013, 11:50 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Sorry your swimming in the depressed pool.. It blows. Yes definatly call your Pdoc .. 50mg is on the way low end ... Your not a burden, don't let yourself get caught in the "I am a burden" merry go round .... I am sure your not and its just the depression talking.
I hope things improve for you.
__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
|
#6
Oct 09, 2013, 12:27 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
I agree with the others, might be time to look at the meds. In the mean time is there anything you do enjoy doing? Can you take some time to do some self nurture? You have done so well to continue working while being on the crazy med ride, you deserve some credit and love. 
|
|
#7
Oct 09, 2013, 03:23 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Thank you all. I appreciate your encouragement.
__________________
[COLOR="DeepSkyBlue"][FONT="Century Gothic"]Dx: Bipolar II w/mixed episodes, PTSD, Anxiety Disorder, Insomnia Rx: Lamictal 100mg, Zoloft 75mg, Klonopin 0.5mg x1 /0.25 PRN “Insanity is knowing that what you're doing is completely idiotic, but still, somehow, you just can't stop it.” ― Elizabeth Wurtzel, Prozac Nation |
|
#8
Oct 09, 2013, 03:37 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I'm sorry you're feeling so bad. :/ I don't think you've failed your family and you definitely shouldn't hurt yourself. You seem like a very strong woman and I hope that you find something that makes you feel better until you are able to get back on track. Perhaps your favorite movie or dinner?
__________________
Allie Diagnosed: Generalized Anxiety Disorder & Obsessive Compulsive Disoder. Previous: Borderline Personality Disorder. I no longer qualify for a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder, but there will always be my borderline traits that I struggle with especially during times of great stress. I've been working passionately as a therapist since December 2016
 |
|
#9
Oct 17, 2013, 07:41 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I wanted to say, I understand the felling of hopelessness, and the want for unwanted thoughts to go away. I hope you know that you're not alone.
|
| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
|
My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
Linear Mode
