[Lisz]

Well, the past three weeks have been just awful but freaking amazing due to my bipolar disorder. I feel as if the depressive side of this illness has taken up most of my time. I am under aged and cannot seek actual help. I'll just use an explanation. I had an asthma attack earlier today, and my parents decided that I was making excuses to stay home from church. My voice means nothing and anything wrong with me is an excuse. But I just thought hey, if this thing kills me one day at least I'll get what I wanted all along. I've had countless episodes of dissociation, andddddd hallucinations. Suicide never actually leaves my mind it is a normal thing so I can survive. I just had a major down swing and I had been crying for hours and I decided I was going to call a suicide hotline. But I punked out and forgot I was even upset. I'm in Mania right now. It's ****ing crazy. I don't have access to a counselor, or friends really. But right now I'm so fantastic that I don't even feel like I need help because this elevated mood just feels so worth it. Though I know it's not...but only for the moment. I could definitely see myself on hard core drugs in a few weeks if i get no help. I know I don't truly want to die. If I really wanted to kill myself I would have been dead already. Actually I almost succeeded. What crazy person attempts suicide at 9? Meee!!!1 . I've never told anyone that actually. My lifestyle at home is kind of ****. I guess I gotta pull it through for another 2 years or less? But I'm lacking the stability to continue on with golds. So yeah I'm screwed. Don't know what I want to be in life, dont know if college is an option.

[Victoria'smom]

What crazy person attempts suicide at 9? Myself, my husband and my son. So your not alone with this. Until you can get help stick around here and there is a chat also if we're not responding fast enough. As scary as it is you may want to look into the services that your school offers but you want to find out about their confidentiality policy because it may be different then private therapists.

Welcome to PC.

[gayleggg]

Welcome to Psych Central. I agree seeking help from your school counselor would be a good idea. And you are not alone. You will find support here.

I wonder if people around you think that the manic one is "really" you? Sometimes authority figures automatically dismiss people who bring a self-diagnosis to them. Doctors do this too, so I'm not picking on anyone.

If you show people your symptoms in writing (with the date and time of when you experienced them), it lets them put things together themselves. At worst, it shows them you really care about your health --- and yourself

[Lisz]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

What crazy person attempts suicide at 9? Myself, my husband and my son. So your not alone with this. Until you can get help stick around here and there is a chat also if we're not responding fast enough. As scary as it is you may want to look into the services that your school offers but you want to find out about their confidentiality policy because it may be different then private therapists.

Welcome to PC.

I'm sorry about that and really thank you