[newlifeyeah]

Hello everyone!

I had a pretty severe depression this year from about February to May, and I decided to start an antidepressant, paroxetine. After about 5-6 weeks of taking it, and upping the dose from 10mg to 20mg I slowly started to feel fine. I was okay for a while, but then I went hypomanic, stopped the med, but it was too late, and I went into full mania and had to be hospitalized for 4 weeks. They put me on Depakene, Olanzapine, Betaloc and lots of xanax. For about 1 and a half month after the hospitalization I felt sort of okay, so we decreased the dosage of all the drugs. When I stopped taking olanzapine, I went into full depression, so severe, I have never had in my life. after 2 weeks I was put back on 5mg per night. This was just 3-4 days ago. I met my psychiatrist and she just started to put me on lamotrigine (lamolep) and slowly changing from depakene to lamolep. I'm currently on 300mg depakene and 12,5mg lamolep.
My question is, was I too long on depakene? I've been kind of low for the last month, she shouldve made this change faster.. Now I have to wait until it builds up. My other question is, is it clear now, that I have bipolar? My mania was triggered by the anti-depressant, no question about it, I have never wouldve had it if I don't take it. But I felt so bad, I felt like I have no other choice.

For the more experienced people out there, can you help me? What are the outlooks on the near and far future? Will lamictal help me to be normal again? will it cause hypomania and mania? Am I sick, or am I healthy?
It feels so bad to be stuck in this depression again, I want to be out of it so badly. I unfortunately don't have a job, I have a girlfriend, but I'm afraid my illness is really affecting our relationship, and I want to be better ASAP.

I also went to therapy regularly but my therapist insisted me to go into somekind of a psychotherapic hospital, where I can stay and have group and solo sessions until the meds build up, but I didn't go there, because I want to live a normal life, and I want to be healthy, I don't feel like this whole ordeal is caused by me, I feel like it's "happening to me".

My mom keeps telling me, that I became depressed because they gave me the depakene for too long, and she says I should quit all meds, because the meds are making me depressed.
I don't want to rely only on meds, but I've heard good stuff about this lamotrigine, and I feel like at this time I couldn't cope without the meds.

The mania episode was horrible enough, I didn't expect a huge depression to come afterwards. Can you guys give me some insights? I know it's different for everyone, but I just feel so alone and hopeless with this right now.

Also, if I had mania, is it gonna come back even if I'm not taking anti-depressants?

thank you very much!
love!

[dubblemonkey]

Originally Posted by newlifeyeah

Hello everyone!

I had a pretty severe depression this year from about February to May, and I decided to start an antidepressant, paroxetine. After about 5-6 weeks of taking it, and upping the dose from 10mg to 20mg I slowly started to feel fine. I was okay for a while, but then I went hypomanic, stopped the med, but it was too late, and I went into full mania and had to be hospitalized for 4 weeks. They put me on Depakene, Olanzapine, Betaloc and lots of xanax. For about 1 and a half month after the hospitalization I felt sort of okay, so we decreased the dosage of all the drugs. When I stopped taking olanzapine, I went into full depression, so severe, I have never had in my life. after 2 weeks I was put back on 5mg per night. This was just 3-4 days ago. I met my psychiatrist and she just started to put me on lamotrigine (lamolep) and slowly changing from depakene to lamolep. I'm currently on 300mg depakene and 12,5mg lamolep.
My question is, was I too long on depakene? I've been kind of low for the last month, she shouldve made this change faster.. Now I have to wait until it builds up. My other question is, is it clear now, that I have bipolar? My mania was triggered by the anti-depressant, no question about it, I have never wouldve had it if I don't take it. But I felt so bad, I felt like I have no other choice.

For the more experienced people out there, can you help me? What are the outlooks on the near and far future? Will lamictal help me to be normal again? will it cause hypomania and mania? Am I sick, or am I healthy?
It feels so bad to be stuck in this depression again, I want to be out of it so badly. I unfortunately don't have a job, I have a girlfriend, but I'm afraid my illness is really affecting our relationship, and I want to be better ASAP.

I also went to therapy regularly but my therapist insisted me to go into somekind of a psychotherapic hospital, where I can stay and have group and solo sessions until the meds build up, but I didn't go there, because I want to live a normal life, and I want to be healthy, I don't feel like this whole ordeal is caused by me, I feel like it's "happening to me".

My mom keeps telling me, that I became depressed because they gave me the depakene for too long, and she says I should quit all meds, because the meds are making me depressed.
I don't want to rely only on meds, but I've heard good stuff about this lamotrigine, and I feel like at this time I couldn't cope without the meds.

The mania episode was horrible enough, I didn't expect a huge depression to come afterwards. Can you guys give me some insights? I know it's different for everyone, but I just feel so alone and hopeless with this right now.

Also, if I had mania, is it gonna come back even if I'm not taking anti-depressants?

thank you very much!
love!

your mum is the only smart one in this situation

[newlifeyeah]

Originally Posted by dubblemonkey

your mum is the only smart one in this situation

are you sure? what makes you agree with her? thanks for your reply!

[dubblemonkey]

Originally Posted by newlifeyeah

are you sure? what makes you agree with her? thanks for your reply!

ok no worries ...

I have experienced severe complications myself.

after years of such!

...and pretty much no satisfaction.

I trust the obvious and the basic.

and those older than us tend to describe things so very much better...

as only they can tell you and me that we are way too troubled...

without justification....

those before us are correct

that's why I said your mum is right

[dubblemonkey]

things will be ok....

[newlifeyeah]

anyone any insights?

[dubblemonkey]

Originally Posted by newlifeyeah

anyone any insights?

I gave you some...

be more specific

otherwise you just want attention... I can do both.

I can explain things you are not ready to understand

[Moose72]

You've had a lot of med changes. I think you need to settle on one combo for a while. I don't think you should go off them completely though.

[newlifeyeah]

Originally Posted by Moose72

You've had a lot of med changes. I think you need to settle on one combo for a while. I don't think you should go off them completely though.

thank you very much!

[BlueInanna]

My opinion may not be popular, but for me, I wait and bp depression passes. Sometimes months, and it is horrible and runs its nasty course. But I am hard headed and stick it out. The only med I'm willing to take is Valium - and my plan is only for 2 more months. The meds are too toxic in my body, makes me not feel good.

It will get better for you. Sometimes worse, eventually better. Hang in there with us. youre not alone. And yes mom's know best (usually lol)

[nbritton]

I believe your physician is on the right track with lamotrigine. Depakene (valproic acid) and lamotrigine interact with each other regardless of how long you have been on one or the other. Some individuals can develop a life threatening rash when initially starting lamotrigine, this is the reason why your doctor started you on a very low dose.

However, many individuals can tolerate rapid dosing of lamotrigine, but the increased risk this presents is something that needs to be acknowledged and discussed beforehand. Thankfully if you do develop a rash with rapid dosing, you can rechallenge the drug at a lower titration later: PMC1201641

You also asked if you truly had this illness, based on your age and the response you had to paroxetine, wait and see how you respond to lamotrigine and other diagnostic tests.

I went for ten years with the diagnoses of Bipolar Disorder II, until one day my wife and I became frustrated with our inability to have children. It turns out I had a, benign, pituitary tumor the whole time that was causing hyperprolactinaemia and secondary hypogonadism. The point I'm trying to make is you need a full neurological and neuroendocrine workup for a proper diagnoses. It is best to think of psychiatric illnesses as knowledge gap disorders, so you have to rule out things we can test empirically first.

Nuclear imaging studies are nice to have if you can afford them, but even most classical neurological disorders do not exhibit structural problems with the brain. I think the most bang for your buck would be to start with a neuroendocrine workup by a board certified endocrinologist. It may just be my personal experience, but these are the only individuals with the scientific mindset required to root out a complex problem. Psychiatry is entirely too content in calling it good with a half assed explanation and a fist full of pills.

But to answer your question, yes you're probably suffering from some form of bipolar disorder. It doesn't answer the underlying cause, but a young adult presenting with manic switching on antidepressants, corticosteroids, or even something like pseudoephedrine, is indicative of someone who can benefit from medications traditionally used in the treatment of bipolar disorder. A great resource for you to begin with is psycheducation.org.

You have written half a sentence about your girlfriend and relationship troubles, so I can't offer any assistance with this; why do you say your illness is influencing your relationship?

You haven't indicated that you're a harm to yourself or others, why would your therapist insist that you be hospitalized? Hospitalization is incredibly disruptive to a patient's life, in addition to being psychologically damaging to their sense of well-being. The last thing you want is to be straddled with thousands of dollars in costly hospital bills. Civil commitment is strictly for individuals who are a harm to themselves or others. A once in a lifetime dream vacation would be a fraction of the cost of a hospital stay, and probably also result in a better outcome too! That money can be put to better use elsewhere, enough said.

This could in-fact all be "happening to you", you're mom may be right that you need to stop everything. The trouble is you still haven't explored why you became depressed in the first place. Simply put, why did you feel the need start taking paroxetine? Why did you think that would help you? What empirical findings have made your doctors believe you have a neuropsychiatric illness? Did all your labs come back normal?

It's not hopeless, stick with the lamotrigine for now. It's a great choice for treatment resistant depression, regardless of whatever underlying disease you may have. It's not a matter of relying or not relying on medications. Lithium is to Iron, as bipolar disorder is to Iron deficiency anemia. Some people "need" to have more to function correctly. In fact, if lamotrigine helps, taking low dose Lithium carbonate (say for instance 0.4 mEq/L) as a prophylaxis may actually be all you need to function well for the rest of your life.

"The mania episode was horrible enough, I didn't expect a huge depression to come afterwards." I'm guessing you experienced a dysphoric or mixed mania, as few individuals rarely complain about euphoric mania. Your respond is typical of individuals that are susceptible to drug induced psychotic states. I would urge you to educate yourself about what compounds you can put in your body, this alone could adequately explain your situation. Some individuals are just more "delicate". I can't take pseudoephedrine, prednisone, amphetamines, and nearly the whole class of serotonin altering compounds, as they'll make me bat ***** crazy real quick. I can't even take over the counter Benadaryl for more then a week without it seriously altering my physiological state.

Also, depression is often a rational response to living in this crazy world. Pick up a hobby to keep your mind off the insanity surrounding you. Let me know if you have any more questions.