I'm not doing well.

Hi all. I was diagnosed bipolar ii a month or so ago, because after a year of being on effexor it was apparent that it was making me much, much worse.

I'm currently in, what I believe to be, a mixed state. I feel like my brain has no lubrication, every thought hurts, nothing is worth doing, yet I'm spinning a mile a minute and going nowhere. I've never been in such mental agony, and it's lasted what seems to be forever (even though I'm sure it's only been about a month or so).

I know that a good portion of this is effexor withdrawal (I'm at 75 down from 250, I've been weaning for about 4 months). I also know that not being on the correct medication is contributing. But I just feel like I'm doing everything.. meditating, eating well, vitamins, exercising, CBT, journaling... and I am in such complete agony all the time.

My OBGYN just put me on hormonal birth control, in the hopes that leveling out my PBS would at least alleviate some anguish, I meet with my pdoc on Tuesday to hopefully get put on a mood stabilizer, and I meet with my tdoc every monday.

In the meantime I just feel like I'm drowning. Any sort of love would be appreciated, because I just don't know what to do. It gets better, right?

Mixed states suck. They really do. Can you call your pdoc and see if you can get some Ativan to get you to your next appointment?

Effexor withdrawl is awful, I really feel for you. I rarely had too many problems coming off meds, but Effexor was in a league of its own.

Keep up your good work, the coping skills will work once your meds are right. Dont give up!

Thank you guys so much.

How long can a mixed state last? I am so new to this.

I have lorazepam which I try to take sparingly, mostly to sleep.

Honestly, just your comments are making me feel better. It's so easy to feel so alone. Thank you again.

Sounds like a mixed state, they're the worse. I can't really think of anything you can get over the counter to quickly alleviate this. If you had some left over corticosteroids you could pop yourself into a different state.

Lithium orotate is good, temporarily, but can be difficult to find over the counter at a local pharmacy. Omega-3's can help, but not with the quickness I suspect you want. You could always manage in the interm with alcohol, but this will ultimately do more harm then good in the long run.

Same situation with illicit drugs like meth, but speaking frankly even jail time is preferable to living with the torment of a mixed state. People question why someone would want to kill themselves, these people thankfully will never experience the living hell of an all out dysphoric mixed episode combined with withdrawal.

Moose72 had the best suggestion so far, see if you can track down some Ativan or similar by calling your doctor or visiting a same day clinic. It does get better.

Effexor withdrawal is brutal. I went through it 3 years ago. Did you get brain shivers? I had to cut back very gradually on my doctor's advice and it took me 3 months to get off it.
I feel for you and I hope you find the right meds to feel better. (((((Hugs)))))

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Effexor withdrawal is the worst thing ever. I ended up in the hospital from it

I do have a prescription for Ativan, but I try to use them sparingly - like to sleep. In my current state, 2mg sometimes helps me sleep, but I don't want to take too many.

Are mixed states like mania or depression? I know I've been in a depressive state before for a whole year, could I potentially be in a mixed state for that long?

I've given up caffeine and alcohol, and mostly sugar - because it helps me feel more stable. I wish smoking was legal here, that's the only thing I can think of that would really make me feel better.

Fortunately the only effexor withdrawl symptoms I'm having is that it's just making all of my moods more severe. SI thoughts have gotten intense, and I cry all the time. Oh, and my brain is foggy and I'm dizzy. Thankfully no brain zaps.

I think using the ativan as needed less sparingly to get you through the rough patch is not a bad idea, I take klonopin sparingly too, I have to remind myself that its ok to use it when I really need it. Just hang on til you can see your pdoc and hopefully get started on a mood stabilizer, mixed states are very uncomfortable. I'm not sure how long they typically last, mine have been no longer than a couple months, mostly because I so actively sought help.