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#1
Oct 21, 2013, 03:45 PM
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I hate that I have to keep reminding myself that I'm not normal. Thank I can't control feeling sad or downright suicidal. Simple things, normal everyday things, are triggers for me. I hate it. And I hate knowing what I need to do, not doing it, then feeling completely guilt-ridden afterwards. I see others and envy how easy it is for them to take a deep breath and just move on. I instead miss work and lose money and bury myself deeper into a hole.
i just want to sleep...for a long time.
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Guns aren't lawful, nooses give, gas smells awful, you might as well live- Dorothy Parker |
 Andysmom, Anonymous45023, BipolaRNurse, bumble2u, Moose72, Mr. Radio, mzunderstood79, shezbut, TheJettSet27
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#2
Oct 21, 2013, 04:04 PM
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I can so relate do that. I just want to lock myself and be alone but then i also want to be very close too someone. Don't want to be alone my worst feeling i know that doesn't make sense
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| Moose72, shezbut
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#3
Oct 21, 2013, 07:49 PM
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Quote:
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Guns aren't lawful, nooses give, gas smells awful, you might as well live- Dorothy Parker |
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#4
Oct 21, 2013, 07:58 PM
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Quote:
I feel like you saw right into my soul and my world
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Bipolar I / Rapid Cycling GAD / OCD Lithium 900mg Seroquel 200mg Topamax 200mg Prozac 40mg Remeron 7.5mg Atarax 25mg |
| Moose72, shezbut
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#5
Oct 21, 2013, 08:00 PM
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The guilt is big for me, too, now that you mention it, Patsy. I was feeling guilty recently and didn't know why.
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 3 mg Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily Mania Sept/Oct 2024 Mania (July/August 2024) Mania (December 2023) Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023) Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021) Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021) |
| shezbut
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#6
Oct 21, 2013, 08:12 PM
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I know how you feel. It's not fun, and unless you have an area where you can hibernate it's not likely to looked positively upon in a work environment or around others. I was in such a bad state that everyone I came across (for the months after I was in depression following my episode) could feel my negative energy and I gave off a bad image. It's hard to be happy for others and joyful, I'm still not. Still have a lot of angers and few pleasures, but life has been getting easier for me as time goes on.
Understand you are loved and your personality is beautiful. If you are truly a person that can not stand to be this way then you know in your heart you won't always be. It's a mental state that you must overcome. Keep positive and work hard at thinking about good things. Music, humor, and fantasy land have been pulling me out the hole. You'll get there just know that and until then stay here. People have been very kind to me during difficulties, they will do the same for you. |
 Moose72, shezbut
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#7
Oct 21, 2013, 09:15 PM
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Quote:
By the way, love that Dorothy Parker quote (the entire poem, in fact.)
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"Before you can make good music, you just have to shut up. Then the music can say what it has to say." -Kristin Hersh "The most important thing about music that I've learned after all this time is that to me, it's a way of reaching the truth." -Serk Tankian |
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