[nachocheese]

I regret the things I have done. I've done some bad things that have hurt people I care about. I cannot get past the regrets as hard as I try to. They do not understand my illness that I suffer through. Everybody should have control over their actions, right? They don't know how wrong they are. So they shun me. They judge me, forget I exist. They don't know the pain I feel, everyday how I fight these demons with all my will. I get so tired sometimes I cannot function. I have to hide in my own world I have created in my mind. It is where I feel safe. I do not feel judgement. But it isn't a real place. I cannot live there. I have my kids that keep me here, in this world. I have to fight this disease. It's only for them I can pull it off most days

[Moose72]

I Could have written your post

I've been where you are now, I've felt how you are feeling. Sometimes its the kids that keep us going every day, that's what kept me here when nothing else could. I could never leave my kids. They are my everything. I understand living in your own head, I still live there. Its a nicer world than the real one. But we can't stay in it always unfortunately. We all make mistakes. I have hurt my family and will not be able to take back what I did but I have to move forward and so do you.

You will feel better, make your drs help you feel better. That is their job. Talk to your pdoc, your therapist, bring your family into counseling if you can, do what you must. You are worth it, you are worthy of feeling better.

i think we all have some sort of "safe place", how we wish the world to be.

just ashame that in reality, it's not like that