[Stone83]

The choices I have made while riding high and feeling unstoppable have caught me. Like a death grip on my life and mind. I had a successful biz and the world at my grasp. I started making one bad choice after another and now, bankruptcy. I hate it! I think about how stupid I was. Every investment was gold in my mind. Not so in the real world. When I started coming down I just couldn't do it. I could not battle myself and run a biz. I failed. Everyday I wish I had stopped myself. On top of losing to my minds battle I got so sick I ended up losing my colon. Now the battle is on. Can I hold it together? Should I? The thought of stopping the meds and just giving in is soooo inviting. I want to. But I also want my children to have a father. So I fight. Every freaking day. Life is easy, it's me that is the challenge.
No point of this post. Just needed to tell someone. If the world around me only knew the monster inside of me,they would not complain about theirs.

[the abyss]

i know lots of people who have lost their money, it is hard for them, but it is not money that pumps through our veins.
as for giving in that is your choice , but i watched my neighbours' family deal with their father suiciding he had a terminal illness but it is still a great struggle for them even though they knew that he was going.
i have monsters inside me, but they are afraid of me.
take care

[BlueInanna]

I keep on for my kids too. And I'm broke, kicking myself for the stupid stuff I spent money on & people I let take advantage of me when I had a lot. Hope it gets easier with time to accept it & save our energy for the daily fight.
I once ran a successful biz, had to sell in June. Now I'm a pawn with a contract and a boss barely keeping it together. I messed up every opportunity.

[EJB5565]

I too can so relate. Lost business of ten years, divorce, bankrupt, and now penny less waiting and hoping for SSI. I too spent money I didn't have while manic. I am too much of a chicken to check out so I continue the daily grind. I am a ship lost at sea. I don't have children so be thankful you have them to keep you moving forward! Good luck as you fight the demons in your mind.

[Alokin]

I am sorry you are struggling! But there are a few options. You can keep doing the same, or you can dust yourself off. You have been able to achieve things in the past. You may have mucked it up, but you can work to regain some of the things that made you happy. It was hard the first time, its going to be hard this time as well. You can do it!! Start small, everyday is an opportunity for new accomplishments.