[lizz1313]

It seem like a battle just to get through the day. I see a doc and a counselor and have medication regimen. Even with all that I still feel completely hopeless and there is the "why even bother with it all" thoughts in the back of my mind. I have never acted on those thoughts and trust me it's a very hard battle some days. I know I need to tell my doc and counselor but I'm afraid that if I do they will put me in the hospital and I don't want that. I know that I could also talk to my fiance about this but I don't want to burden him with my problems,or worse leave because I'm so screwed up. I hate that I'm always annoyed with the kids and dread them being home cause I don't want them to see me like this. I have Bipolar-1 and a few other fun issues that more than likely don't help the situation. I just wish I knew how to open up and trust someone that I can talk to about all this without having the fear of them judging me. I just want to be ok is that so bad?

[ultramar]

If you're feeling judged by your current counselor, perhaps you could seek out a different one. It sounds like medication alone has not helped enough -perhaps a change in counseling modality, or counselor, would improve your situation. I'm sorry you're feeling so hopeless at the moment -hope things look up soon and welcome to PC!