funny hospital moments

I remember a group of us putting jumpers over our heads (so the cameras didnt see us) and sneaking out and putting washing powder in the fountain so it got incredibly bubbly. The bubbles lasted for about a week. Made everyone smile.

Well this is hearkening back to my stay in the state hospital for adolescents. I spent three months there and it was pretty much terrible (due to heartless staff and no type of therapy AT ALL, not even weekly individual, and no structure besides half days of school) but my roommate was my best friend in the world. I wish I could remember her last name so I could maybe find her on Facebook...anyway she was hilarious and always tried to break me out of my shell. She had no problem disrobing to get changed in front of us (four to a room btw). One day I told her it was kind of strange and she looked at me and just screamed WOOOOO and dropped her robe and started dancing. I cracked up. Later she told me she used to hate her body so much that she would only shower and gt changed in the dark, (because of past sexual abuse), but one day she decided to start loving herself. She said it took months to work up being able to look at herself in the light and now she just does it because she loves herself and thinks everyone else should love themselves too. I never told her it was strange again.

One day she stuck a penny up her nose just to cause trouble for the staff.

There was another girl in there with us who must have had schizophrenia or something similar because she spent 90% of her time quietly laughing to herself. She rarely ever said anything meaningful to anyone. I always thought that at least she was happy with her world. Anyway I had hated every minute of my stay there and so did most of the girls. So when I got close to leaving I was allowed to run the ONLY GROUP OF THE DAY which wasn't even therapy of any sort, just goals group. When I mentioned I was leaving, she popped up and said, "Oh, you don't like it here?" I had to laugh because it was the only time she had ever said anything sensical to me and I thought again, well, at least she's happy! Damn me her stay in her world, it seems better than the "real" world anyway.

And slightly off topic because this was when I was in a residential program and not a hospital, but when I was 15 one of the other kids in my home decided to come downstairs in the middle Of the night and flip the furniture upside down. He wasn't violent about it, he just quietly flipped al the couches and chairs upside down for staff to find later. The. The next day he climbed on the roof and hung out for awhile. He was such a sweet kid, just a troublemaker.

One time when I was 19 I was in the hospital yet again. I got in super late and I hadn't slept in 24 hours so I tried to go straight to bed. But my roommate started whispering. I thought she was talking to me but I realized it was in Hindi or Farsi or something. So I ignored it. But eventually it progressed to full on conversation-level talking until I just gave up, got out of bed, and started pacing. She was very nice, though, because when a nurse came in and told her to quiet down she laughed and stopped.

And one time a super manic guy wrote me a whole song in my journal in about five minutes just to cheer me up since I was there following a suicide attempt.

I'm ashamed of how many times I've been hospitalized but at least I have some fun memories to hold on to.

There was a guy that got ahold of surgical lube and greased himself up and ran around the "lap" butt naked.. couldn't catch him, so they ended up waiting for his meds to kick in and he finally calmed down and ended up in the seclusion room for 12+ hours.

sent from the pickle jar, using Tapatalk 4

That made me LOL! Thanks.
PrairieCat

I found this more endearing than funny, but it's funny in its own way.

When I was first brought in, I was scared and out of it. It took me a few days to trust anyone. But on the first day, this huge guy came up to me and told me "It's okay." He was a pretty tall and muscular guy, intimidating, but he had a really kind smile. He had a really 'child-like' demeanor to him. He offered to teach me how to play chess and said that if I beat him at least once he would give me a prize.

During the time I was there, he taught me how to play chess, and I showed him how to make origami. On the last day, I wasn't anywhere near to beating him, but he kept telling me ways that I could beat him and was giving me advice on how to win. I ended up winning (he obviously let me), and he had the happiest reaction to me winning. When I was discharged, he came up to me and gave me his stuffed Snoopy doll. I tried to not take it, but he got really upset and insisted. We weren't allowed to have any physical contact, so he asked me to give the snoopy doll a hug so we could hug! It was nice and funny and encouraging. He was a really nice guy.

I remember having quite a few funny moments but I can't remember what they were! Most of the time, hospital is like a blur to me; my mind has made those tough times in hospital into fuzzy snapshots of certain days.

Anyway. There were funny moments, and I guess I fell in love for the first time in there. It's not healthy to develop relationships in hospital - lets just say, he recovered at a faster rate than me and eventually (after a long friendship and a platonic relationship following discharge) decided to cut off all ties with me. I was heartbroken for so long. Don't get me wrong, I'm not writing this to make a relatively humorous thread into a depressing one, it's just because we had some of the funniest moments of my life in that hospital.

I guess one of the memories I do have was in my third or fourth hospitalisation. There was a guy with schizophrenia on the ward. I mentioned that I don't believe in a God and he looked at me in anger and exclaimed "There is a God! I saw him on the train!" Perhaps more awkward than funny but he eventually found the comedic side to it all once his treatment had begun to curb the symptoms of his disorder.

Another one, perhaps, is when I was talking to one of the HCAs during my fourth hospitalisation. Due to the fact that I expected some sort of homophobia and discrimination with these staff, I hadn't mentioned my sexuality. Anyway, he sat telling me how being gay is wrong and it makes him sick. Following his rant about homosexuals, I asked him "What if you had a gay patient?" He told me he'd just "be professional about it" but that he "wouldn't like it at all". I simply replied "Well you've failed being professional about it, you're sitting next to a homosexual boy right now". The look of horror on his face was priceless, so was him getting fired for it! I mean, I'd never normally find somebody losing their job funny but what he said, especially to a patient, was definitely worthy of a firing. People are of course allowed their own ignorant and closed-minded opinions but they should really keep them inside their tiny mind.

RB

This is an older thread, but i had to add my story.

I was admitted in October. My roommate had schizophrenia and a powerful delusion that men were coming to rape her in the night. I was moved into the bed by the door, and she was vastly relieved, because now the rapists would get me instead. After that she did things to make my life as comfortable as possible prior to the coming attack. She spread extra blankets on my bed, begged extra dessrets for me, so many things. It was no use trying to get her to stop.

She also took 5 or 6 showers a day. She used my shampoo and conditioner and fancy soap, because she only had the crappy hospital stuff. She didnt ask but i was fine with her using it, ever woman deserves nice personal care items. What blew my mind is that in one weeks' time she used up gigantic family sized bottles of shampoo and condish (her hair was in a pixie cut!), and and ENTIRE BAR of soap!

Lol this is s funny thread. I was IP with a guy who would only answer to the name Jesus Christ. He also wrote in highlighter in his sneakers the letters L and R so he could read the left & right. The last time I was IP they had a guy who was basically a paranoid schizophrenic due to the abuse of shootingbbath salts. I asked him what they were like and said I read about a guy high on them who literally became cannibalistic. He just looked at me then said Mmmmm your arm looks tasty. Hahaha

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using Tapatalk

Haha! This is awesome, and just made my night.

Alright, funny hospital story. Okay so when I went into inpatient last christmas I had a residual cough from being sick before. It was really just tissue damage from coughing so hard, and the fact that I was smoking a fair bit at the time, but I would sometime cough. A little bit. But one woman - no idea what her problems were but they were obviously there - started hating me, saying I was caring the pelage and was going to infect us all. She'd been there for months and had earned a lot of respect from other patients I guess and had only been there a few days at that point… so she actually turned everyone against me, but only when she was around. When she wasn't people would come up to me and say "don't mind her, she's just crazy." as if we all weren't.

On the same ward, there was a young woman with long hair that I didn't realize were extensions, and I complemented her on her hair colour, and we started talking, and she said she liked having long hair but short hair looked good on me. So I told her has she ever tried cutting her hair, it would look pretty cool, and she goes into this story as if talking about the weather but also really angry about how her boyfriend (not ex, boyfriend) cut her hair with a knife because he wanted revenge on her, so she stabbed him. I was speechless and didn't know what to say. Turns out she was a very angry person, but the moment still amuses me.

Thank you again for this.

i actually agree with you, on both statements- i've met some really nice people, the nicest person being this guy john, a war vettran.. i've always liked to learn about the war and how people lived, so he was really nice- i still think about what he's doing, and if he's okay

yes, the nurses are nice too. when i was in over christmas, my nurse diane, really tried to give me a good christmas.. i had christmas music, (even though the album was dreadful), and we even played a few simple games- and had a raffle

The first time I was in hospital I became friends with an old bloke called Dennis. At first he bullied me - psychologically. I was so good at acting 'normal' I think he suspected there was real dishonesty in me.

After about two weeks we made friends and I realised he had a wicked sense of humour. One night he was getting ready to have a bath before bed - as was his routine. He returned from the bathroom looking shocked and was uncharacteristically polite in saying to the nurses "There's excrement smeared all over the bath!". The nurses on the ward were very lazy and just ignored him. He repeated himself, remaining polite. His uncharacteristic behaviour started to attract the attention of some of the other patients. This stressed him out and he finally burst out "Look there's **** in the bath and I'm not getting in until someone cleans it up!". The whole corridor exploded in laughter and patients went to have a look at the 'dirty protest'. Finally the nurses cleaned up the mess.

Dennis passed away a few years ago, but thinking of him makes me smile.