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#1
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I think that I am in the midst of a manic episode. I feel more alive than I have ever felt in my life, my art is better, I look in the mirror and don't cringe...I actually found myself thinking I was pretty today. I feel like dancing and singing and making love. I am loving every second. Colors seem brighter, I feel inspired to work out and write and draw again. My mind is going a mile a minute and I can't stop thinking about all of the amazing things I want to do...
But at the same time I have never been so reckless. I feel a all consuming need to just talk and talk and it won't stop. I can't make myself sleep and eating seems like a waste of time when there are so many better things to do. I am doing things that I wouldn't normally do, acting in ways that just aren't me at all. My behavior is pushing people away and ruining relationships...but I don't want it to stop. I want to keep feeling this high, I know it's not healthy but the thought of the mania stopping...that fall...is terrifying to me... Is this a normal part of bipolar disorder? Do any of you ever feel this way? I am just spinning so fast and I'm so scared that I'm going to crash. THANKS! RAYLEIGH ![]() |
#2
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You're not that far gone if you're mourning the fall. I mourned the loss of mania after, but nor during.
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg ![]() Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
![]() Rayleigh22
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#3
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Yes, I do worry about the fall. I didn't used to but I learned that it always comes so I do think about it. I thought I was going manic on Monday and was so happy but kept thinking what if it's not really mania and it turned out to be a two day stent. Wonderful while it lasted.
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Bipolar I, Depression, GAD Meds: Zoloft, Zyprexa, Ritalin "Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." -Buddha ![]() |
![]() Rayleigh22
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![]() Rayleigh22
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#4
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haha. yeah... was hoping somebody said they went manic and never came back... but hey, what can you do?lol
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