[HabitualQuitter]

So today I am going to see my Dr which I truly love even though I have only met with him once so far. He was so genuine and understood all that I had been through up to the point of meeting him, the crazy med-go-round. He commended me for getting a jump start on my treatment by convincing a walk in doc to Rx me Topamax to use as adjunctive therapy with whatever else might be Rx'd once I finally found a Dr. Well, he put me on Lamictal which was a Godsend and kept me on the Topamax. He also increased my dosage of Klonopin and basically told me if I couldn't get out of the house I needed to be taking more of it. At one point I did, I was taking it everyday. But then I just didn't want to do that. I guess at some point I just started judging myself plus, whenever the crying fits hit (my versions of anxiety/panic attacks) that can last anywhere from 10-45min I no longer had anything to take to snap me out of it because I was accustomed to this med. The last time I saw him I was supposed to come back in 7 weeks. That was well over a month ago. Part of me has just truly been trying to figure out if my issues are environmental (external) or if I indeed have an issue that needs help by a med adjustment or change. My biggest fear is weight gain. Everyone says sanity over vanity - well, you're an asshole if you say that so keep your mouth shut if that's your way of encouragement. I lost all of my baby weight after three kids (my youngest is 4), went from a 16 to a size 6 (my prepregnancy size) AFTER I quit smoking then I got sick and put on these meds that didn't even help my condition and made me put on 60lbs. It's not about vanity, it's about mourning and being truly upset and cheated out my hardwork for nothing. There are few to no meds that actually do not cause weight gain for this and I am on two of them right now. Both of which are not AP's and I have been doing just fine other than the fact that I cry at least once EVERY SINGLE DAY. I can cry at the drop of a hat. I cry for other people, not just just because I am some overly sensitive person who is a crybaby who can't deal with life. And I have taken the Klonopin so infrequently that if I use it now it just lay me out, like it literally knocks me out. I am hoping that the Dr will just increase my dose of Topamax to 200. After the research I have done, that seems to be the average dosage for adjunctive therapy on this medicine anyway. We can't really go up on the Lamictal because the last time I was on a higher dose I had an allergic reaction so we are already taking a gamble with me being on it to begin with. But the Dr who originally had me on it increased the dose way too fast and that could've been the cause for my allergic reaction. The med my Dr mentioned trying if the Topamax/Lamictal/Klonopin mix didn't work was Latuda. Seems like a fairly weight neutral drug. But's it's also $600/mo. So I would have to sign up for the low cost program (which I qualify for) and wait 2 months for it to go through and come in the mail to me because my Dr doesn't have samples. So this would still put me waiting for months to have any help. I guess it's okay either way. I mean, I've been dealing with it for this long, what's a couple more months. Or maybe he will increase the Topamax and this will be a nonissue. I have a feeling he's also going to tell me that i should've been in therapy this whole time as well, but there came a point in time where we just couldn't afford it anymore. The place where I was going for a long time was reasonably priced at $35 a week but I honestly didn't feel like it was helping me at all. $140 a month is a lot of friggin money!!! It's hard, it's hard for me to go see a Dr today that I can't afford to see, to get advice that I can't afford to follow and to probably get an Rx that I can't afford to fill. I know that I am rambling. I am just not feeling hopeful and I know I haven't posted here much or in a long time but I am just really low right now

[BlueInanna]

Similar boat here. Sorry. . I can't afford all these appointments either. Can't find a pdoc who takes insurance. I have those crying spells. It used to be daily. I called them panic attacks but pdoc said no and that it was a bp thing. That's confusing idk. It's good you're not taking too much klonopin, it's really physically addictive & can make you depressed. I take them & do think they help me feel better, but I hate the idea of being addicted to anything. I quit smoking too. I know the feeling every thing is so hard and there's no clear answer or relief in sight, meanwhile trying to raise children. I hope appt goes ok. Maybe he'd let you do a partial payment today, although it is early in the relationship... Let us know how it goes. Take care.

[vans1974]

Originally Posted by HabitualQuitter

So today I am going to see my Dr which I truly love even though I have only met with him once so far. He was so genuine and understood all that I had been through up to the point of meeting him, the crazy med-go-round. He commended me for getting a jump start on my treatment by convincing a walk in doc to Rx me Topamax to use as adjunctive therapy with whatever else might be Rx'd once I finally found a Dr. Well, he put me on Lamictal which was a Godsend and kept me on the Topamax. He also increased my dosage of Klonopin and basically told me if I couldn't get out of the house I needed to be taking more of it. At one point I did, I was taking it everyday. But then I just didn't want to do that. I guess at some point I just started judging myself plus, whenever the crying fits hit (my versions of anxiety/panic attacks) that can last anywhere from 10-45min I no longer had anything to take to snap me out of it because I was accustomed to this med. The last time I saw him I was supposed to come back in 7 weeks. That was well over a month ago. Part of me has just truly been trying to figure out if my issues are environmental (external) or if I indeed have an issue that needs help by a med adjustment or change. My biggest fear is weight gain. Everyone says sanity over vanity - well, you're an asshole if you say that so keep your mouth shut if that's your way of encouragement. I lost all of my baby weight after three kids (my youngest is 4), went from a 16 to a size 6 (my prepregnancy size) AFTER I quit smoking then I got sick and put on these meds that didn't even help my condition and made me put on 60lbs. It's not about vanity, it's about mourning and being truly upset and cheated out my hardwork for nothing. There are few to no meds that actually do not cause weight gain for this and I am on two of them right now. Both of which are not AP's and I have been doing just fine other than the fact that I cry at least once EVERY SINGLE DAY. I can cry at the drop of a hat. I cry for other people, not just just because I am some overly sensitive person who is a crybaby who can't deal with life. And I have taken the Klonopin so infrequently that if I use it now it just lay me out, like it literally knocks me out. I am hoping that the Dr will just increase my dose of Topamax to 200. After the research I have done, that seems to be the average dosage for adjunctive therapy on this medicine anyway. We can't really go up on the Lamictal because the last time I was on a higher dose I had an allergic reaction so we are already taking a gamble with me being on it to begin with. But the Dr who originally had me on it increased the dose way too fast and that could've been the cause for my allergic reaction. The med my Dr mentioned trying if the Topamax/Lamictal/Klonopin mix didn't work was Latuda. Seems like a fairly weight neutral drug. But's it's also $600/mo. So I would have to sign up for the low cost program (which I qualify for) and wait 2 months for it to go through and come in the mail to me because my Dr doesn't have samples. So this would still put me waiting for months to have any help. I guess it's okay either way. I mean, I've been dealing with it for this long, what's a couple more months. Or maybe he will increase the Topamax and this will be a nonissue. I have a feeling he's also going to tell me that i should've been in therapy this whole time as well, but there came a point in time where we just couldn't afford it anymore. The place where I was going for a long time was reasonably priced at $35 a week but I honestly didn't feel like it was helping me at all. $140 a month is a lot of friggin money!!! It's hard, it's hard for me to go see a Dr today that I can't afford to see, to get advice that I can't afford to follow and to probably get an Rx that I can't afford to fill. I know that I am rambling. I am just not feeling hopeful and I know I haven't posted here much or in a long time but I am just really low right now

Sorry to hear!! For me, it's all about the meds, then if they're working, counseling helps somewhat. I know Latuda is my miracle drug for bipolar depression, and as you know it's weight neutral. I'm really surprized your doc didn't have any samples and a discount card for it! You might want to check on Latuda's website and even call the company! If not Latuda for an AAP, for me Geodon is also weight neutral, and a good mood stabilizer. I'd get discount cards all time so it was only $4 a month. Best of luck and hang in there!!

If you are in the US, have you looked into the community services board? The one here where I live handles both mental ill and mental challenged, has T and pdoc services and runs a partial hospitalization program. Usually leess expensive. There's also peer support groups like dbsa and nami. For a lot of people I used to know, nami was their therapy because they couldnt afford reg T.

[HabitualQuitter]

Nothing through NAMI anywhere near me and I qualify for the low cost program but the Dr has to do the paperwork for me first. The community service programs were more expensive than the counseling I was going to.

[PrairieCat]

Originally Posted by BlueInanna

Similar boat here. Sorry. . I can't afford all these appointments either. Can't find a pdoc who takes insurance. I have those crying spells. It used to be daily. I called them panic attacks but pdoc said no and that it was a bp thing. That's confusing idk. It's good you're not taking too much klonopin, it's really physically addictive & can make you depressed. I take them & do think they help me feel better, but I hate the idea of being addicted to anything. I quit smoking too. I know the feeling every thing is so hard and there's no clear answer or relief in sight, meanwhile trying to raise children. I hope appt goes ok. Maybe he'd let you do a partial payment today, although it is early in the relationship... Let us know how it goes. Take care.

Depending on where you live (I'm in SW U.S.A.), people should know that most drug manufacturers have what is (dumbly) called an INDIGENT DRUG PROGRAM. This is for those who cannot afford meds. Your doctor can contact them and get a form for you to fill out. You tell them what your income is. That is how they judge whether to help you or not. Sometimes all you have to pay is maybe $10 for an Rx. Other times, the med can be free. This can be done for any med where I am located.
If you have med. insurance, this will cover most of the drug costs. If you're not in the U.S., your country may have a similar program. Check into it. If doc won't help with this, find another doc who will. Most docs use faxing to do this.
Best wishes to you!
PrairieCat

[HabitualQuitter]

He decided to just up the Lamictal from 100mg daily to 150. Said I should notice a difference within 2 weeks. I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to stay far far away from the AP's so this was good news to me. He suggested CBT instead of DBT (which is what I have been working on on my own) so I guess that's what I try to do next.

[nbritton]

Originally Posted by HabitualQuitter

We can't really go up on the Lamictal because the last time I was on a higher dose I had an allergic reaction so we are already taking a gamble with me being on it to begin with. But the Dr who originally had me on it increased the dose way too fast and that could've been the cause for my allergic reaction.

If you're currently on Lamictal (lamotrigine) and don't have a rash, it's most likely that your original doctor increased the dose too fast. It seems you like this drug, I would ask your new doctor to try increasing the dose. It's generic and cheap, a 30 day prescription can be bought for $10.

Here are some references for rechallenging lamotrigine:

• Rechallenge with lamotrigine after a rash: a prospective case series and review of the literature.
• Lamotrigine rechallenge after a skin rash. A combined study of open cases and a meta-analysis

[HabitualQuitter]

Thanks for the links. The original Rx'ing Dr had me on high doses of a lot of drugs and pushed me up on Lamictal really fast.