personal rant

I have been in a depressive cycle for 3 weeks now, just spent the last with a bad ear infection on top that is still hurting and still I pulled it together to make a decent dinner for the family. Then hub has the nerve to be upset that the kitchen fairy hasn't been scrubbing the stove burners! He's lucky I've stayed out of the hospital and he's complaining about cleaning stove burners?

My pdoc asked me the other day about his attitude towards my illness and actually said ''I'm sorry", when I told her. Bootstraps tough guy army guy. Just wait til his stuff hits the fan, he's an Iraq war vet. He told me to my face a couple of weeks ago he wouldn't have married me if he had known I had bp. Never mind 27 yrs of army wife life and all those separations I endured raising two little boys by myself. And they turned out good, I take credit for that. I did everything right, army spouse functions and pta despite anxiety, room mother, commander's wife. I deserve better treatment and attitude at this stage in my life in general, not just because of my mh issue. But surely he should treat me gently when I'm in a bad place?

Guess its time for another trip to the marriage counselor.

Thanks for letting me vent, I know this isnt all about bp but its involved.

I know this feeling. I can't figure out why my husband gets irritated when I've put laundry into the wash and the dryer but left it for someone else to get out. Holy cow, they were only towels! I use to do no laundry at all. I'm a little better and I do a lot more. Why can't that be enough for a bit.

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That sounds so incredibly tough, emomom. I am so sorry you're feeling so attacked.

I feel guilty a lot for my status also. I feel like it puts unnecessary strain on my relationship and my boyfriend. He started dating me before I was diagnosed (I was hypo, and tons of fun), and I know this isn't what he signed up for. I feel guilty and sorry all the time.

I don't know what I"m really saying, but maybe just that you're not alone in this situation.

This is not something we can control, and we are doing everything in our power to help ourselves. We didn't do anything wrong. This is about them, not us.

Emomom, I think you may be right about the marriage counseling. Sometimes it takes reminders for spouses that only professions cen get across to them.