Is there no winning?

So last week I started geodon as a second AP added to my Abilify. The first couple of days, I felt a little nauseous and my head hurt, but then I started feeling good. Really good. Honestly I was feeling good enough to probably be considered slightly manic, but that's not really my point right now. It seems like since this morning I've just crashed back down. That was before the problems started with my daughter. Now I just don't know what to do. I'm sick and tired of these ups and downs. I'm sick and tired of taking pills. I'm sick and tired of T appointments, pdoc appointments, regular doc appointments. Is there no end to all this crap?

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I'm sorry you're feeling bad. It is so frustrating having this illness! I hope you feel better really soon

It's your life, accept it, learn to cope.

Really? I don't even know what to say to that...

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This does sound harsh, but I do agree with this sentiment. We all just have to play with the hand we're dealt with. Everyone has different **** they are going through and a lot of people have medical problems.

Honestly I am just grateful to be mentally ill in modern times. I would have been executed for witchcraft just 500 years ago, convicted to an insane asylum 100 years ago, and given a lobotomy just 60 years ago.

Feeling sorry for yourself isn't going to do any good. Be proactive about your own life.

I hope you find the right med combo soon. I know how frustrating sampling all the pills is. But they allow us to live happy and healthy lives. Just don't be so hard on yourself and try to relax a bit.

Thank you for toning that down a bit. I usually do just cope with things, but yesterday was rough and I just needed to vent.

I told my wife how I felt last night, and her response has left me sort of baffled. She said maybe I don't have schizoaffective disorder at all. She said that maybe everything is just a side effect of PTSD. Is that even possible? I mean, she may just be thinking that because I'm in a depressive phase right now, and that makes me ruminate on things more, so I get more nightmares, but is it really the other way around and I'm not seeing it?

I wonder that too. Maybe its all connected. Which runs my mind like mad... then again I've not ben dxed anything other than my PTSD and major depression so I don't know. Just wanted to let you know you aren't alone.

nothing more to say. It's that simple. Many people go through exactly what you typed, including me.

only other option is to stop taking meds, stop therapy, etc.

I don't believe in sugar coating, life isn't sugar coated.

The sooner you accept you have an illness and you need constant treatment, the better off you'll be.

So sorry to hear!! For me, it's all about the meds! I frequently have to tweak them! When they work, life is okay, when they don't life is hell! The only other things that kind of help me, are changing my environment, and serving others!
There's always ECT, TMS, and VNS! Best of luck and hang in there!

For many here ditching the "illness" thinking is where were started being better off.

And why would somebody have to accept "treatment" that makes them worse? What logic is in that?

You will not get any goldie starts for claiming yourself ill and popping pills that make you worse.

And no, there are more choices that "take pills that make you ill and pretend it's a treatment" and being "ill".

Life comes with shades of gray, did they forget to tell you that?

OP... trauma issues can screw you a lot. And by gently working in them... you can see lot of improvement and peace. I think it might be what you should focus on primarily. Maybe everything else is just a symptom of that... or is made much much worse by your trauma issues.

My wife and I were talking about that last night a little. She thinks its possible that all of my issues stem from that. I'm not quite sold on that idea, but I agree it's worth looking into.

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