What's in a brain

Hi, all.

Happy new year.

I'm taking an online course and am having difficulty motivating myself to lern the material. When I do study, my short term memory seems to work, but the information quickly evaporates. I read the material over and over again, but it just won't stick. I never had this problem in high school or undergraduate school, and was a very good student. I am 40 years old now.

Furthermore, I feel much "dumber" than I was when I was younger.

Is my retention difficulty a result of my age and having not studied for awhile? What about IQ point loss?

I spoke to a psychologist who said that untreated episodes can actually cause damage to the brain, and that, contrary to the belief that those with bipolar are highly creative and productive, that people with the disorder, especially when untreated, become less and less abled as time goes on. (Makes sense since many of us wind up on disability. If it were so great, we would be progressing through life with each episode). Imagine the neural overload during a manic episode, and what must happen when it happens repeatedly.

Anyway, having a difficult time with this course and afraid it's going to end up in the toilet. Wondering if it's largely due to brain damage. When I was younger, I was in gifted programs. After a current assessment, I am only a little above average -- a loss of more than 20 IQ points.

I realize that there are multiple types of intelligence, and I think I have, as my disease has progressed, relied on those to compensate for the others that have waned.

I stopped taking benzos for anxiety several months ago, which I think has helped with the mental fogginess, but I still have difficulty concentrating and following conversations sometimes. I also have a big problem with word retrieval and tend toward circumlocution.

Am I doomed, or can I get some of my former brain back?

I appreciate any kind of input and information, even if just sharing similar experiences.

Thanks.

Seaweed Head

I can really relate. I too feel much dumber now than I used to. It is hard to comprehend new things sometimes. I dont know if it will come back, I like to hope it will one day when Im off meds, but I dont know for sure, Im sorry

I had the very same thing happen to me, including some permanent memory loss, and that was at age 27!

But my retardation wasn't because of untreated bipolar, it was actually the exact opposite.

2 years after quitting my dumbing down drugs I have improved quite substantially. The only issue I'm still working on is word recognition,but I'm back to being a bookworm, which helps immensely!

A few members here have mentioned playing brain teazer type games to exercise their noodles, memory games come to mind first.

Uhm, I don't actually have a solution for you, but I do know what its like to feel your once brilliant brain rot inside your head, and the subsequent self-esteem blows that follow.

How many "untreated" bipolars are there actually? It's now been admitted some of the drugs actually cause brain atrophy.

The "brain damage" in "untreated" bipolar has never been proved. You would have to get a group of untreated bipolars that never touched any drug, including alcohol.

Maybe it's that you are studying in 40s... there is a terrible diseases that damages your congitive skills that is called "aging" (no way to treat that to the date, although some swear by lecitin, gingo and such to mitigate the damage. And by engaging your brain constantly). Sorry to say, but you peak in your 20s.

And yes, if you didn't study for a while it's difficult in the beginning. Your brain is not used to that type of activity. But you can get into it.

been on meds for a year am 56 been bipolar since teens but untreated till a year ago,,I am having trouble with old info I should know trying to read cbt books having trouble understanding those too Maybe aging maybe not