family understanding...

I finally told my mother tonight that I was disappointed that she hasn't done any research on bp2 since I told her about my diagnosis. This conversation was initiated because we watched law and order and there was a "crazy killer" who was "bipolar". She said something like "oh that's you, right?"

She had never asked about what my dx means to me or even what webmd says!

How have you dealt with family and friends? Do they care? Get it?

My mom, who lives 1500 miles away has either done research or just instinctively knows how to take care of me. I am so blessed that I spend my summers with her- it literally feels like I am living a different life.

My husband won't research, ask questions, or even give me any leeway when I bring up this disorder that is MEDICALLY DOCUMENTED, I have endured meds, therapy and even hospitalization for, and he just seems to be in denial. I've been in mixed state depression for a couple weeks now, and he told his family (who knew everything from my six day hospital stay when they had to care for my kids) that I've been sick with allergies lately. Allergies. Technically, I have been sick with allergies. They don't make me scream and cry and not sleep or eat and isolate myself from the entire world , though.

So I understand your frustration, anger, and hurt. And the feelings of being alone and helpless. And like there is no support. That's why I'm on this forum right this minute.

Hang in there. Perhaps ask your mom to come to a therapy session with you (after clearing with tdoc) and tdoc can answer her questions and maybe educate her. I asked husband to and he said he didn't want to, because he didn't want to know how bad it could be. Since then he has asked to go, but he broke something in me with that and I haven't asked him back since. If he can't be bothered to read a web article or two, why waste my precious time with my tdoc on on him?

I don't explain my diagnosis to anyone because no one needs to know.

I'mm 22 and unemployed living with my parents. I tell them it's because I'm bipolar, they get it, my mom thinks it's all in my head but we don't talk about it.

no one needs to know

With my family we just don't talk about it. It's really awkward, it seems as if no one gets that it is different from their emotions. "Just wait it out" or "just get over it" are things that come to their minds. I don't blame them because it's hard to know or even imagine things that you haven't experienced.

I get frustrated and scared when I talk to people about it. I can snap and be angry or cause unneeded problems. I am a handful when the water becomes ruff.

At the end of the day though, they try. They love me and they want to understand but sometimes they just can't. That changes relationships and sometimes destroys them... but they were nice when they lasted? That's why I don't like talking about it usually. It's letting people into my secret world where they can become hurt.

It is important to find people who can talk about it though. It's always needed to have a listening ear. So... it's nice while relationships lasts

Best,

Lillyleaf

As I've found people really don't get it.

I had to take the day off yesterday to see my dr as I was not coping and this woman I work with says she knows exactly how I feel ... I wanted to scream at her that no she did not know what I'm going through nor would I want anyone to. People also seem to think you can snap out of it ... wish that was the case!

I'm lucky to have a friend who also has bipolar 2 but living in NZ most people think anyone who has anything above depression is a "crazy" person so I am very hesitant to tell anyone about my diagnosis.

A little rude. So maybe you should print something out and hand it to her. She's probably just too lazy to go to the library.

I'm lucky to have a husband who gives me space when i need it. I'm not sure he understands the entire scope of things but he tries at least. My daughter knows and she is a school counselor. She also just doesn't discuss unless I want to and bring it up.

It's hard to educate people who don't want to be educated, even if they should be. Sorry your family is not helping you.

I have 2 family members who seem to take it personally that I'm on meds. They ask if I'll ever get off meds. They tell me about documentaries they've watched having to do with the horrors of psych meds. Both of the people are clearly in need of medication and therapy. Their ignorance irritates me, but then...I look at where it's coming from.

My mother is way to controlling, documenting my every move. Thankfully she's going to a NAMI meeting tonight hoping that calms her nerves getting her feelings out. As she is starting to drive me crazy.

The only reason my family knows is because I couldn't hide the hospitalizations. If I could have I would never have said anything. We tend to just ignore it if possible. I do talk about it with my sister in law but only because she has bipolar also.

I live with my mom, and she is supportive, but she also thinks that my illness is the devil inserting himself in my head (especially over the summer when I believed someone was implanting thoughts in my head - SATAN!!). She believes that if I just accept Jesus into my heart all will be well. However, she doesn't usually push this idea on me.
Otherwise she just makes sure I'm stable and I lie to keep the peace.

My husband is the only one directly involved. He struggles with it, especially depressed episodes. When I am depressed he just tells me that I'm not trying hard enough to get out if it, and that when he was depressed he had the willpower to overcome. Doesn't matter that I go to work every day and keep things relatively clean despite the crushing fatigue. He also tends to overreact. The last time I was depressed he spent the whole weekend threatening to call the cops and have me committed. I believe his exact words were "you're going to the hospital and you're staying there until you're fixed!" I told him unfortunately he can't keep me there for the ret of my life.

Hubby is not a bad guy, don't get me wrong. He just doesn't understand. And he's scared - his dad has bipolar and he held my husband hostage at gunpoint once trying to get the cops to kill him. He also spends most of his days in delusions, most recently saying that the pope personally contacted him and is hiring him to enact changes is the Catholic Church. So I can understand why my husband Overreacts. I just wish he didn't blame me when I'm doing everything I can to pull out of the episodes.

great timing for this friend. My partner of 20 years who is great about almost everything ELSE, said tonite, to summize: "it is all in your head" (kinda funny as it is, but not the way she thinks it is), "You are building this up because you are reading too much on the internet", "just replace the bad thoughts with good ones and you will be fine". Meanwhile if her mom got any kind of even minor diagnosis at all she'd be all over it doing research.
renie

My husband knows the basics but he still has a hard time dealing with my depressions. I was diagnosed in 06 after a series of episodes that caused a lot of chaos and damaged our marriage. These many years later if I bring up my illness he just says 'why cant I just get over it?' I cant get over it, I live it every day. He tries to pretend it doesnt exist until I am in a state he cant ignore. To his credit, he will provide comfort if I ask for it. I dont depend on him much for support, thats why I see my therapist every 2 or 3 weeks, more when I am in a bad place.
My mom is pretty supportive but its taken a while for her to accept that meds are a part of my life now. My illness really doesnt come up with anyone else.
I think its just hard for people to understand our illness, just like I would have a hard time identifying with a cancer patient because I havent had that experience.

Heard that so many times. You're right, I WANT to constantly think about suicide, let me just stop that....look I'm cured!

Wow. Wow. You guys make me feel not alone...not crazy about being crazy

I do need to depend on knowledgeable people like therapist, not those who are not able to understand...even if they love me. not their fault.

I’ve located for family support. I’ve also been in a mental health hospitalized twice (4weeks) and mental health 23 hour hold three times. Ran cars off the interstate, gotten out of my car in traffic and walked up to cars with a baseball bat and been in a fight. Yet my family has "not" made no effort to learn anything about bipolar disorder. I went to my mom's house to go over simple basic info and she did not listen.

My parents and siblings are actually very confrontational about accepting my DX and my family on medication. They are always suggesting jobs my husband can do. They treat my son wrongly and call the pdoc drug dealers. My mom even said my son was to smart to be autistic. My father equates giving my son drugs as child abuse. My sister-in-law "can't take use being suicidal at time and changing medication is not good enough." She plans to move out ASAP.

My cousin-in-law accepts that there are things that go on behind the scene but doesn't understand because we have so much. My in-laws just want me to take care of myself and my family and to keep ourselves alive.

My husband and close friends understand.

My mum and sister understand it, my dad (who I don't live with) however has just written a letter to my pdoc saying I'm exaggerating and latching onto symptoms to make it look like I'm ill in a desperate bid for attention (like being bisexual) because I live in my sister's shadow.

I'm BP on meds. My two children, who live with me, are BP. My daughter is on meds, my son is not. My daughter, however, gets very upset when I'm having a hard time. She says I'm self-absorbed. I'm told to "grow a pair" or "suck it up." She's very dependent on me so maybe it scares her when I am having a hard time.

As for casual friends and the public, I don't keep it a secret. I want people to see that "regular" people can be bipolar and that Hollywood sometimes has it all wrong. In fact, I write a blog about my life. But, I'm older. It's different when your life is behind you. I don't have a future to protect.

I was talking to my partner about personal things, those things you don't tell anyone else.
I was talking about how my mother treated me. Then, at very sensitive moment he said "Oh, I have earache'.
Really? Earache?
WTF.
I'm telling him this stuff, stuff that broke me, and he comes up with 'earache'.

I stopped talking immediately. "Whats up he says".
I felt like s##t, like crying. All he had to do for once was just listen and make the right noises.

He didn't have earache, he just didn't want to listen. And I try hard not to unload very often as I'm aware it can get boring, and that in general people don't understand. That's why I value this forum and the people on it. They understand me.

It was disappointing though that he didn't want to know me more.

Does anyone have partner that 'gets it' or do I expect too much?

My ex (when we not the ex) wanted to come to the pdoc with me, to tell him that all these pills were not needed and if I started jogging I would be just fine
Needless to say I would not let him come to the pdoc with me

Also, notice I said ex? Kicked that a**hole to the curb pretty fast