[Alone & confused]

Everywhere I go we end up discussing what is normal. most of us would say we could not clearly define what normal is... So would common be a more appropriate substitute? Just a thought.

[MissyB0201]

I think normal is my goal, and what normal is can change from person to person. No, we can't define it. I don't strive to be common, I strive to be "my normal." Or what I consider normal.

[venusss]

How about "at peace" or "content" if that is your goal?

[MissyB0201]

At peace. I could say that instead of normal. Maybe it's the pessimist in me, but I don't think everyone will switch from saying normal though.

[Alone & confused]

Originally Posted by MissyB0201

I think normal is my goal, and what normal is can change from person to person. No, we can't define it. I don't strive to be common, I strive to be "my normal." Or what I consider normal.

That's basically what I mean, when someone reaches out & wants to know if their situation is normal, how do we answer them? My normal state might make someone else feel abnormal & alienate them. I don't want to do that to anyone. I don't feel comfortable advising someone as to what is normal or not normal based on my idea of what normal means . does that make any sense?

[Alone & confused]

Originally Posted by VenusHalley

How about "at peace" or "content" if that is your goal?

I guess I was a little vague about what I meant. I was referring to newbies (if you will), who don't know what to expect from bpd , wanting to know what's norm? But it affects us differently so what is normal? Y'all please excuse me today! I had insomnia the weekend . I'm tired & quite possibly overthinking this thing.

[MissyB0201]

I'm a newbie and relate much better to the word normal, because that's what I am familiar with. Saying I want to be normal.

Although my favorite thing to say is "normal is a cycle on my washing machine", I do know what you mean. But the whole idea of 'normal' is entirely subjective. It always depends.
For myself, I know what I used to be like before the illness hit me so what I wish for is to be my usual self.

[wing]

I say "average".

[jesusplay]

all synonyms so it doesn't matter.

accept it.

[venusss]

I don't know. I always seen normal as the people who have weekend houses, don't dare to travel anywhere exciting or wear pink, vote for one of the two major parties and hates Muslims and everybody different and although not causing evil directly, they certainly enable it by not raising a finger when it happens.

[Alone & confused]

Thanks to all who responded! I want to help others, but sometimes feel like the blind leading the blind. I was curious to know if anyone else was having trouble trying to "define" what it really means. You're right. It IS subjective . To each his own. Who is ANYONE to set our standards for us? Yes, we need some checks & balances. Law & order, but to pin all these LABLES on our heads......this one's crazy, that one's OCD, that whole group is bipolar..... It's one thing to know your condition so that you can take care of it. But, we should NOT have to be IDENTIFIED by our conditions & made to feel any less important than anyone else. IT'S OK NOT TO BE NORMAL if you ask me. As long as you are comfortable, content, & at peace within your own flesh, it shouldn't matter if you "fit in" with the status quo. Thanks again for listening.

[swheaton]

I don't even remember what it was like before meds....

One persons normal is another persons strange.

Originally Posted by Alone & confused

Who is ANYONE to set our standards for us?

Well, precisely.
So, particularly in this situation, where it is a community of many different individuals with different experiences, backgrounds and opinions?
I think it is reasonable to express that you feel more comfortable using the word "common" versus "normal", that "normal" doesn't apply to you, and to use whatever word you want.

It isn't really reasonable to suggest that no one else use whatever words or terms they wish to identify their situation with, however.

[hownowbrowncow1212]

You rock!!!! I have never seen someone quote krishnamurti before. Thank you

[donna450]

Mental disease is not common. We all have what is normal for us whether that is with or without mental problems. If common would be used we'd all might feel less than instead of being more than. I dont think there is a common person. We all have minds and no one thinks or acts the same even though we share something in common. Be well....be safe

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